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Garrison Channel fish is sad that Lightning won’t three-peat

A fish that lives in Garrison Channel behind Amalie Arena is very disappointed to learn that the Tampa Bay Lightning lost 2-1 to the Colorado Avalanche in Game 6 of the 2022 Stanley Cup Final Sunday night, ending their championship winning streak at two. “No b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boat parade?”, it asked in bubble language. “Golly. That’s sad.”…

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Rays nervously monitoring championship ring escalation

Rings and Rays

“Cripes, they just keep raising the damn bar with these things”, exclaimed Sternberg. “It’s not enough that they have to be totally encrusted in jewels, they have to be fidget spinners and dioramas too? How’s (Lightning owner Jeff) Vinik gonna top this Bucs ring? I don’t know but you know he will.”

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Foreign tourists patronize local business

Montreal Venus

A group of Canadian visitors in town for a sporting event visited the world famous Mons Venus gentleman’s club in Tampa Tuesday night. “As the economy continues to recover from the last year, it’s great to see tourists coming back”, said business owner Joe Redner. “It’s been a while and let’s face it, after last…

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Tampa Bay postseason sports excitement resumes today

Playoffs

For the first time ever, the Tampa Bay Lightning (36-17-3) and Florida Panthers (37-14-5) will square off in the NHL’s Stanley Cup Playoffs, with Game 1 of the first round taking place in Sunrise, tonight at 7:30pm. The Lightning’s first season was in 1992 and the two teams have been in the league together since…

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Random family spends weekend with Stanley Cup

Cup Fam

Dennis and Jo Ann Jitworth and their two kids Teddy and Marcus enjoyed a nice pleasant weekend with the Stanley Cup, courtesy of the Tampa Bay Lightning, the reigning NHL champions. “Yeah, pretty cool, huh?”, said Dennis. “I don’t understand why but it was nice of them to let us have it for a couple…

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Lightning’s Vasilevskiy refuses to wear mask anymore

Maskless

As the Tampa Bay Lightning prepare for Game 1 of the NHL’s Stanley Cup Finals against the Dallas Stars tomorrow night, goaltender Andrei Vasilevskiy has declared that he will no longer wear his protective goalie mask. “It’s a violation of my freedom, I think, and then also I just don’t think they work,” he says.…

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