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Dumb-ass idea dies deservedly

Rays Sternberg

The Tampa Bay Rays proposal to share the financially beleaguered Major League Baseball (MLB) franchise with the city of Montreal, a concept the organization has been committed to for years, has been officially squashed by Major League Baseball’s executive council. “We didn’t step in sooner because we had no idea that this was something being…

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Kevin Cash named Manager of the Year

Kevin Cash MOY

Tampa Bay Rays manager Kevin Cash has been named Manager of the Year for Subway’s Tampa Bay Region, Tampa Division, Hillsborough Avenue Between Florida Avenue and Sheldon Road, Not Located Within a Radiant Gas Station District. “This is a very prestigious award”, said Cash. “I feel really honored. At first, I wasn’t too psyched about…

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ESPN to launch yet another guy screaming hot takes at you show

ESPN's new show

ESPN, the once self-described “Worldwide Leader in Sports”, is launching yet another show consisting of a man yelling his opinions about the world of sports into a camera “We were going to call it ‘Hot Balls’ or ‘The Crunch Zone’ or ‘Crunch Balls’ or something like that”, said ESPN regional producer Curtis Teebox. “But I’m…

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Red Tide Raises Rays

Tiding Up

Following the Rays clinching the American League East Division for the second consecutive season while compiling the best regular season record in the franchise’s 23-year history, with 100 wins for the first time, many are wondering how such a thing could possibly happen, considering that the team was thought to be significantly weaker after losing…

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Man Wearing Rays Hat Surprised to Learn They Are Doing Well

Rays hat

While out getting drunk for his best friend’s birthday, a Tampa man was recently surprised to learn that the Tampa Bay Rays are doing well this season. “Honestly I don’t even know how I ended up owning this hat,” said Fabio Sukiyo, a 32-year-old man from Seffner.  “I haven’t watched baseball in over 10 years,…

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Rays outfielder offends certain Rays fans

Brett Phillips

Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Brett Phillips on and off-field antics have rankled a segment of loyal fans. “He’s obviously enjoying himself, just having the time of his life. And it’s all the time,” said longtime fan Hub Shitler of St. Petersburg. “That’s downright disrespectful to those of us who have made a tradition of being…

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QUIZ: What Tampa Bay professional sports team should I play for?

TB Sports

If there’s one thing this whole Olympics debacle has done, it’s reinforced the popularly held belief among many people who’ve never played sports at any meaningfully competitive level that they’d be much better at it than most of those who have. It’s too late to go to Tokyo and solve that mess but maybe you…

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New Local Business Spotlight: We Don’t Know

ChampaBay Sports

Here at Tampa News Force, we love to poke fun at various local institutions, but ultimately we love the Tampa Bay Area and want nothing but unqualified success for everyone who lives in and does business in the various communities that make up this vibrant and diverse region. Except Brooksville, of course. Brooksville sucks and…

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Rays nervously monitoring championship ring escalation

Rings and Rays

“Cripes, they just keep raising the damn bar with these things”, exclaimed Sternberg. “It’s not enough that they have to be totally encrusted in jewels, they have to be fidget spinners and dioramas too? How’s (Lightning owner Jeff) Vinik gonna top this Bucs ring? I don’t know but you know he will.”

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