Posts by Chingy Lopez
Tom Brady Fulfills Child’s Dream of Beating Him with a Bat
During one of his many unmasked visits to a local children’s hospital, Tom Brady surprised a sick seven-year-old boy by fulfilling his wish of beating the Tampa Bay Buccaneers star quarterback with an aluminum bat. “I was all out of footballs and he wanted me to sign his bat,” said a bruised-up Brady. The seven-time…
Read MorePennsylvania Man Impressed by Ron DeSantis and his Handling of Coronavirus in Florida
“While I really do love me some Penn, as I like to call it… This past year made me realize that I want to live in a free country again.”
Read MoreTampa Officially Renames Cuban Sandwich ‘The Tom Brady Meat Sandwich’
Following a decisive victory at Sunday’s Super Bowl, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor announced that the famous Tampa Cuban Sandwich will officially be named ‘The Tom Brady Meat Sandwich’. “We want to commemorate this momentous occasion by making some changes to the Cuban Sandwich,” said Mayor Castor during a press conference at Café Hey, a small…
Read MoreFake Super Bowl shuttle drops guests off at trailer park in Dade City
Tampa police are urging visitors to use caution after reports of a fake trolley disguised as a Super Bowl shuttle taking guests to a trailer park in Dade City “The Tampa government has spent millions to ensure Super Bowl guests experience everything this city has to offer,” said Tampa Police Chief, Brian Dugan, during a…
Read MoreBest Views and Sounds of Tampa Bay
Tampa is home to some of the world’s best views and noises So today we are counting down the top sights and sounds in Tampa Bay 5. Downtown/Ybor City Trolley Hearing the dinging of a trolley bell will let you know you’re on your way to fun town 4. Ybor City Chickens The wild chickens…
Read MoreTampa Bay Named Best Sports City in the World
Tampa Bay has become a sports mecca, with teams that are really good at winning games when no fans are in attendance. So today, we are counting down why Tampa Bay Is The Greatest Sports City in the World 5. The Pitchers These sports players are throwing baseballs really fast and sometimes, they aren’t allowed to…
Read MoreTom Brady Tests Positive
“We just received Tom’s test results,” said Dr. Dilgore Robinson, who was waving a clipboard in the air revealing the test results.
Read MoreNéstle Releases New Contaminated Glass and Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets
Nestlé Prepared Foods unveiled a new Hot Pocket flavor today at a maskless Gala ceremony in Weeki Wachee, FL. “We are proud to announce that our incredible team over at Hot Pockets really outdid themselves this time,” said Néstle President Skanky Kong. “For years we have wondered, how do we get our customers to remember us…
Read MoreTrump Set to Pardon Joe Exotic During Final Day in Office
After much deliberation from President Trump’s team during its final hours in power, a final list of pardons has been released and includes many familiar names. “We want everyone to know that we take these issues very seriously and everyone that is being released today, we feel has served their sentence for the crimes they…
Read MoreEvery Street in America to be Temporarily Named after Martin Luther King Jr. for 24 Hours
To commemorate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., every single street in America will temporarily be named after the civil rights activist for the next 24-hours. “We must recognize the great sacrifices that were made and the people who helped our country progress forward in meaningful ways,” said historian and well-intentioned social scientist, Prence Michaels. “Unfortunately…
Read More