Posts by Josh Santos
Top Date Nights in Tampa
5. Explore the Hillsborough River Boasting over 60 miles of explorable waterways running through Tampas most desirable neighborhoods, exploring the Hillsborough river is one of the best things couples can do for fun outside the bedroom in this city. From walking along the world famous Riverwalk, to a stand-up paddle board session or a deep…
Read MoreYbor City to Become 55+ Only Community
After the passage of a recent noise ordinance, Ybor City Historic Neighborhood Society announced it will begin requiring age verification to enter any business establishment in the district. “We are catering to the folks with money,” said YCHNS President Howard Milonaise. “I moved to this neighborhood five years ago and I love the culture, but…
Read MoreTampa Police Announce Gasparilla 2022 Will be 100% Crime Free
The Tampa Police Department announced today that this year’s Gasparilla invasion will be absolutely free of all crimes. An estimated 418,344 people are expected to descend upon Bayshore Boulevard for a day of debauchery and pillaging. “Our officers are more than prepared to control that,” said Tampa Police Chief Debby Littles. “Thanks to recent advancements…
Read MoreTampa to Close Ybor City at 10 PM
To help new wealthy residents get eight hours of sleep, the Tampa Government announced it will shut down its notorious party district at 10 PM every night. “I love the culture of Ybor City,” said Sharron Nellie, pronouncing Ybor as ‘Why-bor’, “The only thing I don’t like is that it’s just so noisy after 10…
Read MoreHow to Get Hot Chicks in Tampa to Notice You
5. Wear a Funny T-Shirt Our ‘Welcome to Grampa Bay shirt’ is the coolest thing you can wear in front of ladies. It will impress them with your epic taste, and it will let them know that you have a great sense of humor. 4. Work Out Studies show that if you look healthy, more…
Read MoreFart Jar Store Opens in Hyde Park
To cater to wealthy patrons in the Hyde Park area of South Tampa, one business owner has decided to switch gears on their business plan. “We originally only sold decorative paper products and supplies,” said Gas Source owner, Wallen McFarfellow. “I was tired of having to buy all this stuff to sell at a markup…
Read MoreGators to Build Casino on Preservation Land
Citing the fact that they have been around since before the US government was formed, a coalition of alligators have announced their plans to open one of the most lawless casinos in Florida. “GRRHHHHHHH,” grumbled one of the hungry-looking alligators during a recent press conference. Along with every kind of regular gambling that is currently…
Read MoreBest Boat Rides in Tampa Bay
Florida’s endless canals and rivers allow folks to explore the natural beauty of this state. That is why today we are counting down the best boat rides in Tampa Bay 5. Alligator Canoe Ride Renting a canoe from one of Floridas many state parks is the perfect daytime activity for those seeking to connect with…
Read MoreHow to lie to Someone’s Face
There comes a time in every person’s life when they have to either be honest with someone and tell them the truth, even if it’s going to hurt them. With these tips, you won’t have to worry about hurting them or being honest. 5. Talk to them as if they were a child Children don’t…
Read MoreHomeless Shelter Concert Venue Proposed for Tampa Riverwalk
Tampa’s Riverwalk is currently undergoing its biggest transformation, with numerous projects currently blocking pedestrians from enjoying it. “Everyone loves Riverwalk, and in a few years, I think people are going to love it even more.” Said Tampa City Planner, Morgan Tsipar. As part of the master plan, Riverwalk’s Curtis Hixon Park will feature a first-of-its-kind…
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