CBD Games – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 3.19.2019
Digital protestors have been taking to social media platforms as outrage builds with all their energy going to the intangible internet, where all the power and effort in the world may be placed, but no physical change will come of it because it diffuses personal anger through an echo-chamber effect which is exactly what the people in power would prefer, the citizens divided and fighting while they make their way to the bank off the work you’ve put in. Your taxes, your work is being stolen from you in a metaphysical way and the only way to change this is with a violent revolution, however a violent revolution cannot succeed because the government would never let us have weapons if they weren’t capable of capturing them and destroying them immediately rendering what we consider “deadly weapons” useless.
A new video game has been released by CBD Games, which allows users the ability to recreate a school shooting. The game is currently receiving backlash online because of a moment where a girls breast is exposed.
“Yea, we’re total scumbags,” says CEO of the company, Jeff Ferguson. “We’re capitalizing off of children’s darkest fantasies, and honestly, I do take a lot of Ambien to sleep at night, and I do not own any mirrors in my house, because I cannot look at myself. If I do, I get physically ill and nauseous.” Jeff catches his reflection off his dorment box-monitor display on his Dell computer, and immediately grabs for a waste bin and hurls into it. “Money’s money.” He says looking up from the basket, vomit still dripping from his lip.
The game is expected to gross 60 million its first week, and reap an estimated total of $120 million by the end of the year.
“It’s absolutely disgusting,” says Jennet Bennet, suburban housewife with three children who already own four copies of the game (through pre-order.) “The fact that my kids have guilted me into buying this absolutely atrocious video game, it isn’t fair that the only way they’ll love me as a mother is if I buy them some stupid violent video game! I would never do something like that!”
She takes a swig of wine while tossing back some pills, then does a long line of cocaine right in front of me while making eye-contact. I tell her that the interview is over and I need to leave now, but she begs me to stay and “see something in the other room.” I decline.
The game already has a 9.8 score on GameScore.Net, a website that ranks video games. It’s been leaked to a few famous web gamers and twitch stars who agree that the game is absolutely disgusting in concept, but its playability is enjoyable and it has similar mechanics to the popular “Fortnite” franchise.
It’s been said by all reviewers, “NOT TO BUY THIS GAME AS IT SUPPORTS A CRUDE CAPITALISTIC IDEOLOGY OF EXPLOITING TRAGEDY AND SEXUALITY FOR FINANCIAL GAIN.” However, others have called it “rad” and, “Would play again, 9/10.”
The game will cost $66.6 because the illuminati really wants to drive in a point.