Politics
Member of the local media who hates the media, blames the media for Donald Trump’s image problems
“It just isn’t fair that the mainstream media, with their obviously slanted liberal bias has spent the last four years irresponsibly throwing out unsubstantiated lies and inflammatory slanderous rhetoric, trying to make the president look like an evil man”
Read MoreTrump directs armpit farts at critics
On a surprise visit to Tampa this morning for the sake of qualifying this article as “local” or maybe to get some Waffle House hash browns, an obviously annoyed President Donald Trump delivered a message to people criticizing him for calling for an end to counting votes. “You know what? All of a sudden you’re…
Read MoreSarasota man attempts to change vote after learning presidential race isn’t an actual race
“I thought for sure Biden would win! I mean look at Trump, he’s got that weird posture all bent-over-like when he walks, like a velociraptor with a spine disease— I don’t think he’d be much good at running. “
Read MoreDunedin man wants this election crap over already
George Bascoat of Dunedin is sick and tired of hearing about the 2020 election and wants it finished. “What’s with this crap?”, he asked rhetorically. “The polls closed at 8 and it’s almost midnight and we still don’t know who won. Come on. This is a bunch of crap.” I told him that counting ballots…
Read MoreChannel 8 election coverage is just two guys beating the shit out of each other
Tampa Bay’s local NBC television affiliate WFLA (News Channel 8) has devoted their election coverage to a couple of men in suits fighting each other. “We feel that this is the best and most accurate depiction of this year’s election”, says news programming director Sylvia Wyngooop. “Viewers can tune in at any time tonight and…
Read MoreBiden and Trump reach historic agreement
In a historically unprecedented move, as well as an uncharacteristic display of cooperation in this highly contentious election campaign, the two presidential candidates, Republican incumbent Donald Trump and Democrat challenger Joe Biden, have worked out a mutually beneficial deal mere hours before the polls close nationwide. At an accidental breakfast meeting at the Waffle House…
Read MoreTampa woman votes, announces, “That should do it”
Christine Valzer of Tampa, who has never participated in an election prior to this year, voted early this morning and immediately proclaimed an end to all divisive social and economic issues. “Yep, that should do it”, she said as she left the West Tampa branch of the public library, and informed everyone waiting in line,…
Read MoreTrump Declares Victory in Florida, Nation
It‘s Election Day, November 3 2020, and it’s the culmination of one of the most important elections in American History. The race features incumbent President Donald Trump vs. the Democratic nominee for President Joe Biden in a tight contest for the White House. A record number of Americans have already voted, with millions more planning…
Read MoreMan Heckling Joe Biden Turns Out to Be Mirror
Scranton, PA — Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden was recorded getting into a spirited discussion with what he called an “old man heckler” at one of his final campaign stops before the election. The heckler turned out to be a full-length mirror he was passing on his way to an interview. “He wouldn’t let me get a word in,”…
Read MoreTop Five Bad Excuses for Not Voting (aside from just not wanting to)
Election Day is this Tuesday, November 3rd, with the race between Joe Biden and Donald Trump for President of the United States among many important issues set to be resolved by citizens participating in the democratic process of voting. A lot of people have already voted. Others are waiting for the “official” day-of. Many, many…
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