Posts Tagged ‘Brooksville’
Morgan Wallen to perform at halftime of Brooksville cornhole tournament
Brooksville is finalizing preparation for their signature, annual sporting event: Hole-a-palooza, a massive cornhole tournament extravaganza. “We’re gonna have a halftime show that blows people away”, said event organizer Mortimer Oliver. He, along with Juggs magazine and Boost Mobile announced yesterday that Morgan Wallen will be the Juggs Magazine Hole-a-palooza XV Halftime Show performer. The…
Read MorePublic stoning of psychics scheduled for today
A public stoning of all psychics, as well as all fortune tellers, mediums, clairvoyants, palm readers and soothsayers will take place later this afternoon and evening in Brooksville. “It’s not because we fear their supernatural prowess”, says event organizers Bartholomew Balthazar. “Quite the opposite, actually. We’re frustrated with their complete lack of any kind of…
Read MoreBrooksville influencer launches social media platform for racists
Todd Barbersack of Brooksville is a social media influencer and app designer, who believes he has invented what will be the next big thing in social media. He says, “It’s called MinstrelGram and it’s designed to celebrate a sadly unappreciated and forgotten form of very specific American entertainment: white people putting on blackface make-up to…
Read MoreBrooksville breaks world record for most incestuous weddings in one day
The town of Brooksville has broken the world record for most incestuous weddings in one day with 165, breaking the former record of 140, a record which was also held by Brooksville. “It feels amazing to break our own record,” Said City Council Vice Chairman, Donnica Redbull. “We didn’t even actually plan this, it just…
Read MoreBrooksville company introduces line of healthy treats for racists
Good Neighbor Bakery, a manufacturer of snack foods based in Brooksville has announced a new line of products designed for racists trying to live a healthy lifestyle. “Let’s face it, a lot of the people who are trying to represent the ‘master race’ aren’t exactly prime physical specimens,” says bakery manager Juff Muzzler. “We need…
Read MoreHarvard moving to Brooksville
“This is a tremendous achievement in academics for Florida. The entire state’s GPA increased by half a point as soon as we signed the paperwork!” – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis
Read MoreBrooksville To Host Klan Lives Matter Rally
Protestors are set to march towards Brooksville’s famous Hanging Tree located in front of the Downtown Courthouse as part of the Klan Lives Matter Rally. “We are tired of the persecution and we want cops to stop killing us,” said Ike Ford, a Florida Klansmen and organizer of the event. “This rally is about what…
Read MoreBrooksville to unveil new statue
The City of Brooksville, (currently) named after a violently bigoted 19th century senator from South Carolina, is planning to unveil a new statue outside the county courthouse. “We’re seeking to bring all the diverse populations of our community together, and what brings folks who live in a community that actually has diverse populations together like…
Read MoreTNF staffer seeks to re-brand Brooksville
The town of Brooksville, Florida is named after Preston Brooks. He was an American politician and Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from South Carolina, serving from 1853 until his resignation in July 1856 and again from August 1856 until his death. His most notable “accomplishment” was attacking Senator Charles Sumner, an abolitionist, and…
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