Posts Tagged ‘Governor Ron Desantis’
DeSantis throws out ceremonial first petty gesture to kick off Pride Month
On Tuesday, the first day of Pride Month which celebrates the LGBTQ community, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed legislation into law that will ban transgender girls from competing in girls’ and women’s sports. “Oh shoot, was that yesterday? Darn it, I didn’t even realize that. Aw shucks”, said DeSantis, while rolling his eyes and pantomiming…
Read MoreDeSantis signs legislation to deal with flooding caused by who-knows-what
On Wednesday in Tarpon Springs, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed two bills intended to make Florida better prepared for future flooding and sea level rise. ”There’s no question that Florida is at serious risk from flooding and other detrimental effects caused by severe weather”, he said. “The only real question is why occurrences of extreme…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis grants exclusive access to TNF for all future legislative signing stuff
Following yesterday morning’s signing of a new bill by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis that aims to restrict voting rights for millions of people that was covered exclusively by Fox News, DeSantis announced that from now on all such legislative events will be covered by Tampa News Force and no other media outlets. “Yesterday’s event went…
Read MoreRon DeSantis eats poop
According to a Tallahassee neighbor of the Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis is on a poop-eating rampage. The source requests to remain anonymous but provided an alias; Timmy Bananas says, “I looked over my fence one day while I was tending to my orange tree, only to see Ron on all fours with his head in…
Read MoreRed Tide anticipating huge year, thanks to government stimulus
Red Tide, the harmful algal blooms that occur along coastal regions from time to time, is expecting to have a very successful 2021, something that probably wouldn’t have been possible without assistance from the government. “I’ll be honest, we were looking at a pretty bleak 2021”, said one of the protozoans and unicellular algae (e.g.…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis knows his way around places where men gather to seek anonymous gay sex
“As somebody who used to drive 95 up and down this congressional district and driven all over the state, I know my way around rest stops and service stations.”
Read MoreElderly St. Pete woman backs DeSantis vaccine policies
Valerie Mondeburt of St. Petersburg is a senior citizen who has not been able to sign up for the COVID-19 vaccine, something for which she does not blame Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “How anyone can blame him for this is beyond me”, she said. “He’s doing the best he can and putting Florida seniors first.…
Read MorePennsylvania Man Impressed by Ron DeSantis and his Handling of Coronavirus in Florida
“While I really do love me some Penn, as I like to call it… This past year made me realize that I want to live in a free country again.”
Read MoreRon DeSantis can’t find a therapist
Florida Governor and adult toddler, Ron DeSantis, feels as hopeless as ever. His longtime pal, Rush Limbaugh, died of cancer. DeSantis ordered Florida’s flags to be lowered in honor of the conservative radio host. However, Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman and the Palm Beach County Commission all ignored his order.…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis Proposes Florida Immigration Test
As more and more people flock to Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis seeks to slow migration from other states by implementing a comprehensive immigration exam. In order to take up permanent, legal residence in the state of Florida, applicants will have to successfully pass a battery of tests that the Governor colloquially refers to as “The…
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