Posts Tagged ‘Governor Ron Desantis’
Ron DeSantis looks for a sugar mama at Publix
In January, Ron DeSantis began frequenting checkout lines and ice cream aisles of Publix grocery stores to schmooze the states’ feeblest citizens.
Read MoreCapitol protestor identified as notorious troublemaker from Florida
As the FBI, aided by social media users, begins identifying people who participated in the storming of the U.S. Capitol building on Wednesday, several Tampa Bay residents have already been named. Along with Matthew Council of Riverview and Adam Johnson of Parrish, who was photographed carrying off a lectern bearing the official seal of the…
Read MoreDeSantis wins no-blink challenge on technicality
The latest skirmish between Florida senator and former governor Rick Scott and his successor Ron DeSantis has culminated in a skills contest that was won by DeSantis, due to Scott being disqualified. The two men have a history of verbally sniping at one another in the press over issues ranging from the opening of the…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis dispatches special squad of holiday helpers
“That’s right, I’m rolling out Santa Ron’s elite Helpers, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE), or Enforcement of Law in Florida, or ELF for short”, said Governor Ron DeSantis.
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis appoints official Florida Man
“I am sick and tired of all the stupid ‘Florida Man’ jokes’, said DeSantis at a press conference held at Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa yesterday afternoon.
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis unveils new office furniture
“You know what? If the President of the United States feels that he can lead the greatest nation on earth from behind a fun-size executive desk, then by God I can lead the greatest state in the union while working with doll furniture”
Read MoreRon DeSantis sends get well wishes to Rick Scott
Following the announcement that Senator Rick Scott has tested positive for having Covid-19, Florida Governor has sent his predecessor a hand-written get well card. “It’s no secret that Rick and I have had our differences,” said DeSantis. “But President Trump is always reminding me that he’s a colleague and a good fellow Republican, so I…
Read MoreRon DeSantis werks the phones at the unemployment hotline
“Hey, baby. This is Ronny D. speaking. You know what the D stands for. What are you wearing?”
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis criminalizes the state of Oregon
In the wake of news that voters in Oregon have voted to decriminalize the possession of heroin, methamphetamine, LSD, oxycodone and other hard drugs, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has declared that the Pacific Northwest state is now illegal in Florida. “It’s not my job as the leader of Florida to judge the filthy degenerates who…
Read MoreTampa police foil attempt to kidnap Governor DeSantis
Three Tampa men have been arrested and charged with conspiring to kidnap Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Tampa Police Chief Brian Dugan announced earlier this morning. The men, identified as Liam ‘Shitty’ Neall, Kyle ‘White Pookie’ Saunders and David ‘Mo’ Lester, were caught in the act of planning to kidnap the governor and bring him to…
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