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Cops find middle-aged white man so unhinged that he can’t have guns

Clearwater Man

Last Wednesday, Clearwater Police Department and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office seized the guns of David Berry, who was seen on video being aggressive toward landscapers Jeremy Lee and his daughter while holding an AR-9 rifle earlier this month. On July 7, Berry confronted Mr. Lee and his daughter while they were trying to mow a…

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Tampa Police donate guns to Amish

Armed Amish

Following a successful Gun Buy Back event, the Tampa Police Department announced that they will be donating all the weapons they collected to the Amish community down in Sarasota. “Don’t think of it as us taking guns off the streets; we’re just putting them on streets that are traveled by horse-drawn buggies instead of cars,”…

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Mass shootings should end now that St. Pete woman is sick of them

Following a mass shooting at an Independence Day parade in Highland Park, Illinois yesterday, Sandy Sterns of St. Petersburg has declared that she is completely over it. “This stuff happens all the time. It’s ridiculous”, she said. “And yesterday was a holiday; we all had the day off and were supposed to celebrate America and…

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Babies will be given guns at birth

Baby Gun

In an effort to end mass shootings, all babies born from now on will be given guns immediately at birth in an attempt to breed an evolution of humans with guns built directly into their bodies. “By familiarizing newborns with guns, we’re hoping to ultimately have a race of humans born with guns already in…

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Florida Police Announce ‘Guns for Mask’ Program

Florida Police Announce Guns For Masks Program

In an effort to supply more citizens in Florida with the N95 mask, the Brandon, Florida, police department has set-up a ‘Guns for Mask’ exchange to encourage gun owners to turn in their guns for a 10-pack of masks. “The hell I’m giving up my guns for something my wife can crochet together,” said fellow…

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School Teacher Accidentally Shoots School Shooter

Teacher accidently shoots a school shooter

Woodland High – Hillsborough County – Monday, 6.3.19 A Hillsborough County teacher accidentally dropped a firearm in class today, shooting a student who turned out to be a school shooter. An 11th grade geometry teacher at Woodland High was in the middle of his third period lesson when his 44. Magnum dropped from the holster…

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