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New Mayor Bans Fireworks in Tampa

Tampa, FL– A newly-elected mayor has banned fireworks in Tampa for the foreseeable future. The mayor, simply named “Mr. Ruffins,” has decreed that fireworks are a scourge on society and will not be tolerated in any form. Mr. Ruffins held a press conference in front of more than 300 Tampa Bay residents (mostly dogs) who…

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