Posts Tagged ‘ron governor’
Dignitaries invited to be honored at TNF 2000th Article party
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Florida Senator Rick Scott have been invited by Tampa News Force to appear at the TNF 2000th Article Celebration / Free Beer Estate Sale Costume Contest, this Sunday, October 30th at Café Hey in Tampa for the sake of being presented with special meritorious achievement awards. The following was sent…
Read MoreMan terrified to wear mask at DeSantis press conference
At a press conference earlier today in Nassau County where Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spoke about his ongoing plans for infrastructure improvements around the state, one man in attendance felt unsafe wearing a face mask. “I wanted to put it on, just to be careful because it was fairly crowded in there. I figured, ‘what’s…
Read MoreRon DeSantis eats poop
According to a Tallahassee neighbor of the Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis is on a poop-eating rampage. The source requests to remain anonymous but provided an alias; Timmy Bananas says, “I looked over my fence one day while I was tending to my orange tree, only to see Ron on all fours with his head in…
Read MoreRon DeSantis can’t find a therapist
Florida Governor and adult toddler, Ron DeSantis, feels as hopeless as ever. His longtime pal, Rush Limbaugh, died of cancer. DeSantis ordered Florida’s flags to be lowered in honor of the conservative radio host. However, Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman and the Palm Beach County Commission all ignored his order.…
Read MoreRon DeSantis looks for a sugar mama at Publix
In January, Ron DeSantis began frequenting checkout lines and ice cream aisles of Publix grocery stores to schmooze the states’ feeblest citizens.
Read MoreEverything officially better today than it was yesterday
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has declared that every problem that people dealt with in 2020 is a thing of the past and no longer a factor on any level. “2020 is over. That’s an indisputable fact”, he said over a mimosa at a media breakfast at the First Watch on Henderson Boulevard in South Tampa…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis unveils new office furniture
“You know what? If the President of the United States feels that he can lead the greatest nation on earth from behind a fun-size executive desk, then by God I can lead the greatest state in the union while working with doll furniture”
Read MoreRon DeSantis sends get well wishes to Rick Scott
Following the announcement that Senator Rick Scott has tested positive for having Covid-19, Florida Governor has sent his predecessor a hand-written get well card. “It’s no secret that Rick and I have had our differences,” said DeSantis. “But President Trump is always reminding me that he’s a colleague and a good fellow Republican, so I…
Read MoreRon DeSantis werks the phones at the unemployment hotline
“Hey, baby. This is Ronny D. speaking. You know what the D stands for. What are you wearing?”
Read MoreTampa police foil attempt to kidnap Governor DeSantis
Three Tampa men have been arrested and charged with conspiring to kidnap Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Tampa Police Chief Brian Dugan announced earlier this morning. The men, identified as Liam ‘Shitty’ Neall, Kyle ‘White Pookie’ Saunders and David ‘Mo’ Lester, were caught in the act of planning to kidnap the governor and bring him to…
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