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Lightning to wear special edition reverse-hetero jerseys tonight

Reverse Hetero

The Tampa Bay Lightning will wear their brand-new, special edition “reverse-hetero” uniforms tonight in their game against the Carolina Hurricanes at Amalie Arena. “We already have a Pride Night every season that brings out the dumbest remarks from the stupidest people. We figured this would be a good way to engage… and enrage… those idiots,”…

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Guy at home declares Bucs season over

Bucs Over

Following the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 21-3 loss to the Carolina Panthers this past Sunday, their second consecutive loss to an opponent perceived to be far inferior, Rich Knuckler of Tampa has declared that the team’s season is over. The announcement came from the couch in his living where he watches all the games on television,…

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Tampa Bay Lightning changes their name to Tampa Bay Pikachus

TB Pikachu

In a shocking first this week, the now former Tampa Bay Lightning have become the first major US sports team to change their mascot to a Pokémon. With abstract and fantasy based mascots like the Dragons, the Heat, and Jazz, this natural progression in branding seems almost inevitable.  “As long as it still relates to…

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Garrison Channel fish is sad that Lightning won’t three-peat

A fish that lives in Garrison Channel behind Amalie Arena is very disappointed to learn that the Tampa Bay Lightning lost 2-1 to the Colorado Avalanche in Game 6 of the 2022 Stanley Cup Final Sunday night, ending their championship winning streak at two. “No b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boat parade?”, it asked in bubble language. “Golly. That’s sad.”…

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Lightning goal horn sounds prematurely again

Goal Horn

At last night’s NHL Eastern Conference Final game between the Tampa Bay Lightning and New York Rangers, which the Lightning won 4-1 to even the best-of-seven series at two games apiece, the goal horn went off after a shot from Lightning defenseman Jan Ruuta went wide of the net at the 14:50 mark of the…

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