Posts Tagged ‘Tampa Bay Rays’
Tampa Bay Lightning win third Stanley Cup; officially not cute anymore
The Tampa Bay Lightning have won the 2021 Stanley Cup, with a 1-0 win over the Montreal Canadiens in Game 5 of the Final, to win the best-of-seven series four games to one. It’s the third time in the franchise’s history being crowned champions of the National Hockey League and the sports world has decided…
Read MoreTicket scalper says he is misunderstood
Kenny Glennis of Tampa, a self-described ticket broker (more commonly known as a ‘scalper’ or ‘lowlife, bottom-feeding scumbag’), says he is tired of being perceived as a parasite with a cardboard sign standing outside of an arena who buys tickets in bulk to create scarcity and then profits by exploiting that scarcity by raising the…
Read MoreRays begin 2021 season with fewer excuses for fans to dislike them
The Tampa Bay Rays begin the 2021 season tomorrow with an afternoon game in Miami against the Marlins, coming off a successful 2020 campaign that has made it more difficult for their fans to find things to complain about. “I’ve been bitching about the Rays since they announced the original team name of ‘Devil Rays’…
Read MoreVirtual sports fan is exhausted
A cardboard cutout intended to fill seats at Tampa Bay sporting events representing a fan who can’t attend due to restrictions resulting from COVID needs a vacation from sports. “It’s been a wild ride, for sure”, said the 2′ 6″ high x 1′ 6″ wide corrugated cardboard silhouette. “In less than five months, I’ve attended…
Read MoreSt. Pete sports fan going broke on championship merch
Upon ordering the brand-new official NFC Championship t-shirt and cap commemorating the Bucs advancing to Super Bowl LV, Tanya Krussp of St. Petersburg realizes she has spent a small fortune on championship merchandise lately. “I’m strictly a die-hard Tampa Bay fan. I only care about my teams”, she said. “But every time you turn around…
Read MoreKevin Cash tries to remove Brady from Bucs game
During the second quarter of todays game between the Atlanta Falcons and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Rays manager Kevin Cash jumped from the stands and ran out on the field in an effort to pull quarterback Tom Brady out of the game. “That’s enough! Get him outta there!”, he was heard yelling. “Gabbert, warm…
Read MoreTampa Bay Rays to Trade Blake Snell for World-Renowned Belly Itcher
In a startling turn of events, the management of the Tampa Bay Rays has decided to trade away their star pitcher from last season, Blake Snell, 28. In return, fans can expect to see a new starting player, Mikey O’Leary, a wily upstart from an unnamed farm team out of Dubuque, Iowa. When asked if…
Read MoreSports stuff happening somewhere in Florida
Not everyone is a die-hard sports fan or competition-crazed enthusiast. Nonetheless, it feels good to be up on the latest news events. That’s why I’m here to inform you that there has been word that sports stuff is going on… or it did go on recently. It’s been confirmed that something sports related is/was just…
Read MoreRays capture AL pennant; will face (insert TBA team name here) in World Series!
The Tampa Bay Rays beat the Houston Astros 4-2 in Game 7 of the 2020 American League Championship Series tonight in San Diego, California, to earn the second World Series berth in franchise history. I asked Rays outfielder and ALCS Most Valuable Player Randy Arozarena if the Rays were inspired to greatness by playing in…
Read MoreTampa Man Discovers Long Lost Tropicana Field
Fountain of Youth, Atlantis, Tropicana Field; Mythological destinations that have long been sought after by generations of explorers. Now, thanks to one such explorer, we rewrite the history books. Over the weekend the Legend of Tropicana Field has gone from gorilla in the mist to a pin on Waze, all thanks to Clive Raines. It…
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