Skip to content

Hasbro awarded FDOT safety signage contract

Ouija traffic

The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has awarded the contract to produce roadside safety signs along the state’s highways to toy manufacturer Hasbro, who plans to utilize their patented Ouija technology. “Florida drivers tend to interpret such signage in ways that suit their own, individual personal needs. Things like speed limits, road closures and which…

Read More

Hillsborough Ave wins world record for most consistent traffic

Hillsborough Award

Hillsborough avenue has won a Guinness world record after having the most consistent traffic for 20 years straight. “We’ve never seen anything like this anywhere in the world.” The Guinness representative said, motioning towards the road. “There has been traffic on this road 24/7 for 20 years straight and no one seems to really understand.…

Read More

Downtown Tampa traffic lights to be timed at 15-minute intervals

Downtown Tampa

The City of Tampa has announced that the traffic signals at all intersections downtown will now be timed to last for 15 minutes, effective immediately. “It’s being done to reduce stress,” said Andy Blibfwitch, the city’s Director of Vehicular Traffic Patterns. “People get so worked up waiting for lights to change when they’re in a…

Read More

Tampa Celebrates Lower Sales Tax by Sitting in Traffic Longer

Commissioner Stacy White

Thanks to a recent decision by the Florida Supreme Court, Tampa residents can finally stop paying the disastrously large sales tax referendum that raised half a billion dollars to improve traffic in Hillsborough County. “While the money had been collected, we felt it was better for us to sue the 57% of voters that approved…

Read More

Tampa to monetize wrong-way drivers

Wrong Way Driver

In an effort to do SOMETHING about Tampa’s chronic problem with people driving in the wrong direction down one-way streets and interstate highways, the city has announced that it will attempt to exploit the situation in order to generate revenue. “Obviously, our preference would be for it not to happen at all”, said Tampa Mayor…

Read More

Bay Area injury lawyer’s billboard disapproves of everything

Jack's lawyer billboard

A billboard on Dale Mabry Highway in Tampa advertising a Tampa injury attorney’s practice is casting looks of scorn and derision upon northbound commuters. The billboard, located on the east side of Dale Mabry, right next to the Chipotle that’s just south of Columbus Avenue, features contact information for Jack Bernstein’s legal practice but is…

Read More

Tampa commuter designs new traffic aid

Fartmobile

Jack Blendwind, who commutes every day from Wesley Chapel to downtown Tampa, has invented a new device for cars that was inspired by the frustration he feels while stuck in traffic on I-275. “It’s absolutely maddening”, he says. “Even with fewer cars on the road, I’m still stuck for at least 45 minutes either way.…

Read More

Tampa announces plan to make traffic worse

Traffic in Tampa Is Planned to get worse

Downtown Tampa – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 6.12.19 While pretending to listen to a packed room of angry citizens, Hillsborough County leaders announced their plans to make the highway worse for everyone. “We’ve been listening to the community complain about this monstrosity cutting through the middle of our city for many years now,” said Hillsborough…

Read More

Archeologist discover 1700s era road construction equipment

West Tampa – Hillsborough County – Friday 2.15.2019 Road work. It’s the pride and joy of the Tampa Bay Area; but how original is it? A recent archeological discovery by the University of Tampas own Dr. Anita BettaJobu, sheds new light to exactly how long construction has actually been going on. Discovered at a recent dig…

Read More