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“Boys Night Out” for Brady saves Bucs season

Tom's Night Out

With what has seemed like uncharacteristically erratic behavior from Buccaneers starting quarterback and all-time NFL great Tom Brady recently, widely speculated to stem from conflict within his relationship with his wife Gisele Bündchen, the team decided to intervene and arranged for a “boys night out” to lift Brady’s spirits and re-focus him on the 2022…

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Tom Brady to enter Canton as a Buccaneer

Brady HOF

Legendary NFL quarterback Tom Brady announced his retirement on Tuesday, and he neglected to mention the New England Patriots at all in his Instagram video. But he also made another announcement that has many sports fans surprised. “I’m going to Canton as a Buccaneer,” Brady said in a second Instagram post. “I know I played…

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Brady astral projects himself into Joe Burrow 

Former or current (depending on your choice of media source) Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback spent Sunday astral projecting himself into Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow and defeating the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC Championship. “Whether I’m retired or not, I didn’t have anything to do, and I like getting into Super Bowls, so I…

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Tom Brady announces retirement at Hooters

Brady retires

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady ended a week of speculation about his future by officially announcing his retirement from the NFL at a party he hosted at Hooters on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa today. “It’s cold outside, Gasparilla is a huge mob scene so I figured why not throw a little get together at…

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You’ll never believe what Tom Brady’s Horoscope said!

Horoscope

Bringing you the horoscope once again is our resident Horoscopologist, Chris Coon, and this week you’ll never believe what Tom Brady’s horoscope was! Aries While in a coffee shop across from an intellectual, you will unwittingly inspire a new wave of a political philosophy that will revolutionize 22nd century geopolitics. That philosophy: Ugly people should…

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Scientists find alternate universe where Bucs won

Alt Universe Bucs

Tampa scientists have discovered an alternate quantum reality existing parallel to the world we know, and in that other universe, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won their last playoff game. “Yea, you know, we saw Spider Man, so in a no-way-home-style series of events, we figured out a way to travel through an alternate world where…

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