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St. Pete man’s dying words express regret for getting vaccinated

Dumb Old Bastard

Eddie Mulmswood of St. Petersburg passed away yesterday and used his last words to say that more than anything else, he wished he’d never gotten vaccinated against COVID. “You would have thought his greatest regret was getting drunk and walking into traffic on a Thursday afternoon”, said his son-in-law Jerry Oyler. “I mean, since he…

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Snortable vaccine available in Ybor

Ybor snortable vax

A snortable version of the Covid vaccine has been released and is being distributed exclusively in Ybor City. The drug has been made snortable because that’s how some people are most comfortable taking their drugs, so the CDC wanted to give people a version of the vaccine that’s more palatable to them. “We realized this…

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Anti-vax bar in Clearwater offering incentives to potential customers

Jenny Mc's

In response to nationwide efforts to motivate more people to get vaccinated against Covid-19 by offering perks like free donuts, beer, gift cards and entries into special lotteries offering cash prizes and scholarships, one bar in Clearwater wants to reward people who don’t get vaccinated. “Here at Jenny Mc’s, we cater to people who do…

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Vaccinated creep eager to start giving unsolicited hugs again


Denny Dexter of Palm Harbor has recently been fully vaccinated against COVID-19 and can’t wait to start hugging women who don’t want him to hug them. “I feel good about it. And women should too”, he said. “Because it’s completely safe. There’s nothing bad that can happen as a result of me approaching some unsuspecting…

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City of St. Pete introduces mobile vaccine distribution unit

Vaccine Truck

As the country prepares for the distribution of a COVID-19 vaccine, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman, has come up with a creative way to get the treatment out locally. “Some people are vehemently opposed to getting the vaccine and that’s an issue. But nobody is opposed to food trucks”, he said. “People love those stupid…

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Bill Gates: I am going to microchip every black person in America!

Bill Gates Discusses Microchipping Every Black Person in America

During a press conference at his secret science facility in Downtown Tampa, Microsoft Founder and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates, announced that he alone designed and released COVID-19 with the hopes that it will spread from China and infect every man, woman and child around the globe so that he could then cure everyone with his…

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