Health
Man dies trying to visit every brewery in Tampa
While attempting to drink at all 57 breweries located throughout the Hillsborough, Pasco, and Pinellas counties, Greg Cleveland died from alcohol poisoning at the 50th stop. “It was always his dream to drink at every brewery, all within one day.” Cried his best friend who actually completed the full 57 brewery tour. “I didn’t want…
Read MoreTampa Doctor Honored for Prescribing the Most Fentanyl
A Tampa General Hospital doctor was honored today at a ceremony held at the Downtown Tampa Hilton Hotel for the 13th Annual Drug and Medicine Awards. Dr. Bigdler Funyon was presented with a three foot statue of a bottle of pills and a gift certificate to Wendy’s for prescribing the most fentanyl in the state…
Read MoreStudy suggests Tampa women are more prone to squirting
Scientists have discovered that the climate in the Tampa area contains a specific atmosphere which is especially conducive to the potential action of female ejaculation. In what’s being called an “overtly over-sexual and unnecessary” study by city officials, was somehow able to take place after a drunken contract signing dating back to 2007. Criminal records…
Read MoreFlesh-eating bacteria on gulf beaches now available in fun flavors
Clearwater Beach – Pinellas County – Wednesday, 7.24.19 In response to numerous reports of people contracting flesh-eating bacteria at beaches along Florida’s west coast and how those reports could negatively impact the tourist industry, the state’s convention and visitors bureau is adding “fun” flavors to the Gulf of Mexico’s water. “Coming into contact with Necrotizing…
Read MoreTampa Doctor First to Reverse Resting Bitch Face
South Tampa Cosmetic Surgery Center – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 7.7.19 A local plastic surgeon is being honored today for pioneering a new type of surgery that reverses the effects of resting bitch face (RBF) in patients by up to 20%. “I’m very happy with my results,” said Sharron Haron, a local mother of two.…
Read MoreTampa Doctor forces patient to smoke weed
Indian Rocks Beach – Pinellas County – Friday, 7.5.19 A Tampa doctor has been detained after forcing a patient to smoke marijuana. Buck Redner was sitting in his doctors office Sunday afternoon when the doctor prescribed Buck a daily regimen of inhaling cannabis smoke. “He told me I needed to ‘smoke weed’ then said he…
Read MoreWalmart caught selling Dominican bread as Cuban bread
City Court – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 7.2.19 An investigation headed by the FDA into three Tampa-area Walmart’s, confirmed today that all three were selling bread from the Dominican Republic, and trying to pass it off as authentic Cuban bread. “It’s just tragic,” said Wendy Plumb, single mother of five and regular shopper at the…
Read MoreCast of Floribama Shore contracts Hep-C
St. Pete Beach – Pinellas County – Wednesday, 6.26.19 The entire cast of Floribama Shore has contracted Hepatitis-C while filming their new season in St. Pete beach. The cast is blaming it on a restaurant they frequented, however the restaurant is claiming that the cast of Floribama Shore already had it because, “They’re gross.” “They…
Read MoreHuman Traffickers Copy Successful Scooter Business Model
Downtown Tampa – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 6.23.19 In a move that should surprise no one, the business model employed behind the wildly popular downtown scooters is being adapted by another industry: human trafficking. “We’re obviously very excited,” said an obviously very excited Leopoldo Vbertz, corporate spokesman for People Movers (not to be confused with…
Read MoreE-Scooters overtake Love Bugs as most annoying thing in Tampa
West Chase – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 6.13.19 In only 2 weeks, E-scooters have already overtaken love bugs as the most annoying thing happening in Tampa. The recently installed fleets of electric scooters have plagued the city, just as the love bugs did, however the scooters are even more intrusive and rage-inducing. Whereas you can…
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