Sports
Rays fan cutouts want their seats back
The Rays are more popular than ever! ⚾
Read MoreTom Brady comes out of retirement to come in your wife
Tom Brady is back and he’s on a mission. 🏈
Read MoreI don’t want to write this story about children’s genitals
Sometimes journalism requires writing the stories that are unpleasant to write.
Read MoreTom Brady has explosive diarrhea after eating bread
When do you think was the last time Tom Brady had a shit this bad? 💩
Read MoreThe Rock offers Vipers back to Tampa Bay
XFL League Owner Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, with the full, enthusiastic backing of the City of Las Vegas, Nevada, has offered the league’s team franchise known as the Vipers back to the Tampa Bay region where it originated in 2020. “Here. You guys want this?” he queried. “You can have it.” “Yes, absolutely. It’s yours…
Read MoreRays decide to wrap up ‘23 season
Following a 4-0 win over the Detroit Tigers to open the 2023 Major League Baseball season, the Tampa Bay Rays have decided that they’re done for the year. “We had great pitching and defense, obviously. I mean, we shut them out,” said Rays manager Kevin Cash. “Plus, timely hitting with power. You really can’t ask…
Read MoreMLB installs Bitch Clock at Tropicana Field
Major League Baseball (MLB) is implementing a number of changes for the 2023 season, including rule changes, larger bases and a clock that will limit time taken between pitches. One of these changes will be specific to Tampa Bay Rays games at Tropicana Field. In order to facilitate complaints about the much-maligned domed home stadium…
Read MoreDeSantis DeNounces ‘Woke Baseball Classic’, Declares USA Winner
Last night in Miami, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis issued a proclamation honoring the team representing the United States in the recently completed World Baseball Classic as the rightful winners of the global tournament. “I don’t care what the scoreboard said, baseball is America’s game, America is number one and America is the winner,” he said,…
Read MoreLittle League team forced to practice in secrecy
The Palma Ceia Little League Minor B Rangers have gone into hiding to practice for the upcoming season due to the DeSantis administration’s recent efforts to suppress Black history education initiatives. “I don’t think it necessarily qualifies as Black history,” said Rangers head coach Greg Sanders. “But I guess you really can’t be too careful…
Read MoreDiehard Vipers fan just found out team no longer exists
Tyler Gertle, a self-described “superfan” of the XFL’s Tampa Bay Vipers has just become aware that his favorite team doesn’t even exist anymore. “I was at Applebees Saturday night and there was some football game on, between teams representing Houston and Orlando. I was like, ‘oh, Orlando has a new lower tier, bush league football…
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