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Tampa man committed to knowing just one nutritional fact


Randy Borgwartz of Tampa has lived almost his entire life knowing and believing exactly one fundamental truth about nutrition… “Corn is a grain, not a vegetable,” he said. “This is an inarguable fact.” Mrs. Maggie Crumsnot, a retired lunch lady from Gorrie Elementary School said, “Oh yeah, I remember that little shit. Starting in 3rd…

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Cougars Find New Loophole


The cougar exhibit at Busch Gardens has some exciting new curious cats that have recently found a new loophole in their habitat. “We installed climbing ropes in the containment enclosure to simulate the type of climbing cougars find in the wild,” said Busch Gardens’ head of cougar rehabilitation, McDanish Brekfestret.  “Instead of using the ropes,…

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Goth girl adapts ‘Karen’ hairstyle ironically

Goth Girl

Annthrax Nightshade, a frequent visitor to The Castle in Ybor City has adapted the much-derided ‘Karen’ hairstyle as a form of sardonic social commentary. “I’m used to people prejudging me based on my appearance,” she said. “Here’s another reason to gawk at me, motherfuckers.” The hairstyle features an inverted bob or lob cut, also known…

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Clearwater man never speaking to his grandpa again


Due to frustration he experiences while trying to communicate, Mike Dumbar of Clearwater has declared that he is never going to speak to his grandfather again. “I was trying to teach him about cryptocurrency and he just refuses to listen to me,” said Dumbar. “I told him that cryptocurrencies will eventually replace the dollar and…

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Top Five Economy Lodging Options In Tampa

Motel Fun

Between Governor Ron DeSantis and his DeSciples declaring Disneyworld off limits and people coming here to live and not just visit, tourists are becoming an endangered species in the state of Florida. Add to that an economy ravaged by inflation, and it’s easy to see that the state’s leading industry is in serious trouble. With…

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Skydiving’s Biggest Downfall, Solved By App


Skydiving has been an elitist sport for many years, but a brand new social app is set to tear down those walls and transition us into an era of skydiving in the mainstream. That’s right, this small yet feisty group of developers and engineers have cracked the code to Big Skydiving’s biggest roadblock. Anyone who…

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