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Partially treated Wastewater ranked more delicious than Aquafina


A recent blind taste test conducted in Tampa concluded that the partially treated wastewater that gets dumped in Hillsborough river is more delicious than bottled water brand Aquafina.

“What did you say this was?” Asked Michael Beech, one of the taste test participants. 

“Partially treated wastewater,” said Shellard Pimblo, one of the organizers of the blind taste test.

“Did you seriously make me drink shit water?” Said Beech, very angrily.

“There are trace amounts of fecal matter, urine, and other things that end up in the sewer, yes.” Explained Pimblo.

Beech splashed the rest of his wastewater cup on Pimblo and began chugging the cup full of Aquafina. He then spit out the water all over Pimblo’s face.

“Jesus Christ, is this also wastewater?” Asked Beech. 

“No, that is Aquafina,” said Pimblo while writing down some notes on her pad.

“Honestly, the wastewater isn’t so bad compared to that,” said Beech.

As a thank you for taking part in the survey, Beech was given a coupon for a free Brita water filter.

Residents around Tampa Bay are encouraged to continue drinking tap water because the trace amounts of fecal matter and urine actually improve the flavor, and it’s better for the environment than bottled water.