Posts Tagged ‘Trump Florida’
Trump endorses Clearwater pizzeria
Former or current President of the United States Donald Trump has offered his enthusiastic support of Sonny’s Pizza, a small pizza and subs shop in Clearwater. “He approached us, not vice-versa, which is wild,” said owner Tim “Sonny” Schwartz. “Apparently he called lots of pizza places in Florida before reaching us. I guess we got…
Read MoreTrump too smart to fall for DeShenantisanigans
As division widens between top Republican leaders former President Donald Trump and recently re-elected Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, tensions between the two men on a personal level are rising. At a recent “We’re In This Together Breakfast & Lunch But Definitely Not Brunch Because That’s Gay” event held at the prestigious Denny’s on Dale Mabry…
Read MoreDOJ had questions about Top Secret document transportation and storage
Part of the heavily-redacted affidavit pertaining to the recent search of former President Donald Trump’s home in Mar-a-Lago indicates that the Department of Justice (DOJ) has had serious concerns about the handling of Top Secret documents: Tampa News Force has obtained a transcript from a DOJ representative and one of Trump’s lawyers… DOJ: We have…
Read MoreMar-a-Lago resident gets along with all of her neighbors… except one
Gladys Narkwerk, a long-time resident of Mar-a-Largo, the exclusive resort community in Palm Beach County, says it’s a great place to live and that she loves the neighbors she shares it with, with one notable exception. “There’s this one man, I believe he used to work in television or something, I can’t say I care…
Read MoreFBI raid on Mar-a-Lago expected to yield catastrophic damage to comedy audiences
Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home was raided by the FBI. This is horrific news for anyone who has to sit through an open mic this week. An unprecedented step by federal law enforcement—executing a search warrant on a former President’s home—will unfortunately kick off a series of mind-numbingly precedented events: hacky Trump jokes by local standup…
Read MoreConservative Aldi Supermarket to Open in Largo
A new Trump-themed Aldi supermarket is opening along US-19 in Largo, FL. “We pretty much took Aldi’s concept and made it for Patriots only,” said supermarket founder, Chaz Rocket. “I’m also happy to announce that we will be open in time for Trumparilla baby!” Rocket then took out a t-shirt cannon and blasted a shirt…
Read MoreTrump begins new job at Mar-a-Lago
It appears that former President Donald Trump has found a way to continue residing at Mar-a-Lago, his luxury resort in Palm Beach, Florida. At least one of Trump’s neighbors has asked town officials to enforce an agreement that prohibits any club members from living there full time. Trump bought Mar-a-Lago in the mid-1980s and in…
Read MoreTrump directs armpit farts at critics
On a surprise visit to Tampa this morning for the sake of qualifying this article as “local” or maybe to get some Waffle House hash browns, an obviously annoyed President Donald Trump delivered a message to people criticizing him for calling for an end to counting votes. “You know what? All of a sudden you’re…
Read MoreFlorida Election Results: Liberals Realize they Don’t Bang Enough
After realizing that Donald Trump easily defeated Joe Biden in a popularity contest, Liberals in Florida took a good hard look at their sex spreadsheets. “I’m just not reproducing at the speed that I should I have compared to my Republican ‘Compadres’,” said Shimrod Orangotan, a man who admitted to me that he hasn’t…
Read MoreTrump Declares Victory in Florida, Nation
It‘s Election Day, November 3 2020, and it’s the culmination of one of the most important elections in American History. The race features incumbent President Donald Trump vs. the Democratic nominee for President Joe Biden in a tight contest for the White House. A record number of Americans have already voted, with millions more planning…
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