Posts Tagged ‘Trump Florida’
President Trump Accidentally Trips on Mushrooms in St. Petersburg
President Trump took a brief lunch break at a pop up gluten free and raw vegan biscuit stand last week, after holding an embarrassing rally in St. Petersburg, Florida. The owner of the stand is Pimento Teaspoon, a Portland transplant, who moved to Florida to find himself after tripping on acid this one time. President…
Read MoreDeSantis cleans out governors office in anticipation of being fired by President Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spent this morning packing up and removing a box of personal effects from his office at the state capitol building in Tallahassee, following remarks by President Donald Trump at a campaign stop in Ocala yesterday. During the rally, Trump told the crowd, “He’s done a great job and he’s been my…
Read MoreLIVE: Trump Boat Parade in Clearwater Breaks Record for Most Closeted Homosexuals
Hundreds of boat owners descended on Clearwater Beach today for the biggest gathering of closeted homosexuals who support president Trump. “We needed 1,180 boat owners who haven’t come out of the closet today,” said event organizer Shuck Pipk. “We have well over a dozen more than what we need.” Pipk then tossed me a White…
Read MoreTrump Threatens Using Military on Citizens to Curb Out of Control Voting
“We have to dominate these people,” Trump said. “Otherwise, they’ll think you’re weak and they’ll all turn out to vote. They’ll even try to vote by mail! We have to stop them by any means necessary. ‘By any means necessary.’ Hey, I just made up a cool phrase!”
Read MorePresident Donald Trump Endorses Tampa News Force
During his most recent conference concerning the COVID-19 safety measures, President Donald Trump took a moment to congratulate Tampa News Force as the only news organization brave enough to report the real news. “You are doing a great job,” said Trump while pointing directly at me. “Unlike the other fake news media who came to…
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