Health
Top 5 Tampa Beaches to Drink From
The beach water in Tampa has some of the finest nutrients in the world. While some claim you shouldn’t under any circumstances drink beach water, we recommend the following for those who decide to give it a try. 5. Ben T. Davis Beach If you have no other option than to drink from the beach,…
Read MoreTampa News Force Journalist Contracts Hepatitis A
Tampa News Force HQ – Hillsborough County – Monday, 5.13.19 After an unfortunate self diagnosis, it appears that one of Tampa News Force staff reporter has contracted Hepatitis A. “Yea it sucks,” said John Jacobs. “My eyelids hurt, so I googled it, and it said I might have Hepatitis A, and I don’t have health…
Read MoreBayshore Drinking Fountains to offer Chardonnay, Red Bull, and Mountain Dew Kickstart
Tampa – Downtown – Monday, 5.6.2019 Construction to upgrade the Bayshore Boulevard drinking fountains is underway. The fountains will now spurt wine, Red Bull, and Mountain Dew Kickstart. The funding for the renovations comes from Gov. Desantis’ new “Excited Citizens” tax bill. This bill allocates $25 million towards keeping everyone on Bayshore Boulevard happy at…
Read MoreSunset Music Festival prepares for possible herpes outbreak
Sunset Music Fest – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 4.28.2019 Following a massive herpes outbreak at Coachella, Sunset Music Festival organizers are preparing for what could be the largest herpes outbreak Florida has ever seen. “This show sells out every year,” said SMF organizer Shannette Rodriguez, “As much as we don’t want what happened in California…
Read MoreTampa Tap Water Declared Too Flammable
Pinedreams Trailer Community – Hillsborough County – Monday 4.15.2019 Tampa government officials were called in to a Tampa trailer park community to inspect some water lines that tenants were complaining spouted flammable water. “We’re okay with some flames, coming out of the faucet,” says trailer owner Dallas Rothschild. “Like if I want to boil some…
Read MoreCan you chain smoke a bong?
CBD Game Cafe – Pinellas County – Saturday, 4.6.2019 The question of ‘can you chain smoke a bong?’ is finally being answered in the living room of a local mans house in Saint Petersburg. “My friends don’t think it’s possible,” said Ray Martinez, 26, who owns his own one-bedroom home. “I tell them it is…
Read MoreMuscle Beach Opening in Center of Curtis-Hixon
Riverwalk – Downtown Tampa – Saturday, 3.9.2019 In a surprising new development nobody saw coming, Tampa is getting its very own muscle beach in the center of Curtis-Hixon park! You heard right folks, the excitement is warranted. Citizens will finally have what they’ve always wanted, a venue to work out in public, outside. The project…
Read MoreWith spring in full bloom, ass eating season is officially over
Tampa Meteorology Center – Hillsborough County – Friday, 2.22.2019 As Florida’s six week winter comes to a close, so do the mouths of residents who eat ass. It’s late February, it’s 85 degrees, swamp ass is back. Luckily for local love birds we had a Valentine’s Day under 70 degrees so it was safe to…
Read MorePasco Man Sues Charity over (No) Fun Run
Land O’Lakes Strip Mall – Pasco County – Thursday, 2.21.2019 A Pasco County resident is suing Lil Gamerz, a 501(c)(3) charity based in Land O’ Lakes, over what he claims was a bad experience at a recent fundraiser. The event, “Run For Red Dead,” featured a 5K race, as well as a one mile Fun Run.…
Read MoreTampa to add Human Growth Hormone to water supply to promote citywide gains
Tampa Wastewater Treatment Center – Hillsborough County – Sunday 2.17.2019 Bob Buckhorn has announced today that the City of Tampa will begin the addition of Human Growth Hormone (HGH) to its public reservoir. “I believe this is a necessary step in order for us to transform our citizens from scrawny-ass pencil necks, into the muscle-bound…
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