Posts Tagged ‘Tampa Bay’
How to help Tom Brady
To ensure Tom Brady has the best opportunity to win a Super Bowl again in Tampa, follow these tips to help him live the most productive and comfortable life possible. Do not drive on the road between 4-9 AM Tom likes early morning workouts, and to guarantee he doesn’t have to deal with any traffic,…
Read MoreFans file lawsuit against Bucs, Lightning, Rays and Rowdies for false advertising
A pair of Tampa Bay sports fans have filed a $6 billion class-action lawsuit against the Buccaneers, Lightning, Rays, Rowdies, Major League Baseball, the National Football League, the National Hockey League and the USL Championship league, due to the fact that none of the teams listed actually play their home games in the body of…
Read MoreTop Five Economy Lodging Options In Tampa
Between Governor Ron DeSantis and his DeSciples declaring Disneyworld off limits and people coming here to live and not just visit, tourists are becoming an endangered species in the state of Florida. Add to that an economy ravaged by inflation, and it’s easy to see that the state’s leading industry is in serious trouble. With…
Read More7′ man rejected by Tampa Bay panhandler community
Dennis Smeeks, a 7′ tall homeless man currently in Tampa, is not being accepted by local panhandlers due to his height. “Dolph or Dirk or whatever his name needs to get the hell out of here and go back to the NBA where he belongs,” said veteran panhandler Johnny America. “He has no business out…
Read MoreSt. Pete sailor claims knowledge of mysterious shipwreck
A St. Petersburg man who goes by the name of Salty Rick is claiming that he has knowledge of a ship that nobody has ever heard of sinking in Tampa Bay over a century ago. We met him at the makeshift maritime museum in what was once the game room at his beach bar and…
Read MoreTampa Police Announce Gasparilla 2022 Will be 100% Crime Free
The Tampa Police Department announced today that this year’s Gasparilla invasion will be absolutely free of all crimes. An estimated 418,344 people are expected to descend upon Bayshore Boulevard for a day of debauchery and pillaging. “Our officers are more than prepared to control that,” said Tampa Police Chief Debby Littles. “Thanks to recent advancements…
Read MoreTop Five Tricks and Treats in Tampa Bay
OooOOoooOOOooh! It’s Spooky Season here in Tampa Bay. That means it’s time to get ready for Halloween! Here to help you get started is a list of the Top Five Tricks and Treats in Tampa Bay! But wait… there are only five things listed. Are these the Tricks or the Treats? Well, I guess that…
Read MoreArrest warrant issued for Door Dash ad announcer
A joint arrest warrant has been issued by multiple Tampa Bay law enforcement agencies for the apprehension of the woman who does the DoorDash ads heard on various local radio stations several times a day, frustrating commuters. “We are seeking the public’s assistance in bringing this menace to justice”, said Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gaultieri.…
Read MoreCheckers rolls out pumpkin spice lard
As summer comes to an end, more seasonal dining options are being presented, including the especially delightful annual tradition of Checkers cooking all their menu items with their award-winning pumpkin spice lard. “Yes, once again autumn is upon us and people crave the traditional celebratory elements of the season”, said Checkers spokesperson Cheryl Mundegard. “Hay…
Read MoreNew Local Business Spotlight: We Don’t Know
Here at Tampa News Force, we love to poke fun at various local institutions, but ultimately we love the Tampa Bay Area and want nothing but unqualified success for everyone who lives in and does business in the various communities that make up this vibrant and diverse region. Except Brooksville, of course. Brooksville sucks and…
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