Posts Tagged ‘Tampa News Force’
Tampa News Force acquires this thing
Yesterday, at an online auction intended to liquidate the asset inventory of the recently closed Tampa Grand Prix family fun center, we bought the geodesic dome structure shown in the photo accompanying this article. Also this photo: “After we failed in our bid to purchase the old, used parade float from Tampa’s Bonney-Read Krewe, we…
Read MoreFuture news: Lightning win 65th consecutive Stanley Cup
A man claiming to be from the future is claiming that the Lightning win 65 straight Stanley Cups in the coming years. Jedidiah Bunchkin, a professional time traveler, showed up to the Tampa News Force offices and said that the Lightning would win 65 championships in the future, and I told him that we lost…
Read MoreTampa Bay Lightning changes their name to Tampa Bay Pikachus
In a shocking first this week, the now former Tampa Bay Lightning have become the first major US sports team to change their mascot to a Pokémon. With abstract and fantasy based mascots like the Dragons, the Heat, and Jazz, this natural progression in branding seems almost inevitable. “As long as it still relates to…
Read MoreTampa prostitute wins TIME’s Person of the Year
A Tampa prostitute named Merth has won TIME magazine’s Person of the Year title, after a unique story which has led to Tampa becoming one of the most popular places in the country. Her story began at the Sunoco gas station on the corner of Columbus and Nebraska Ave. “A man in a pick up…
Read MoreNOMINATE US!
The nominations for the 2022 Best of the Bay Awards, presented by Creative Loafing, are now open! Let’s just skip all the bullshit: We want an award and the only way we will get one is to first, get nominated and then second, get voted for. We’ll bug you about the second part later, but…
Read MoreTampa News Force honored with Good Taste award
The National Society for the Advancement of Understatement and Decency (NSAUD) has awarded the Gold Ribbon of Superior Excellence to Tampa News Force (TNF) for refraining from using a popular photograph that has been circulating on the internet recently for the sake of a cheap and easy joke. The photo is of a toilet that…
Read MoreAn incredible, $pecial opportunity for Mr. Elon Musk
Dear Mr. Elon Musk, Hi. How are you? We are Tampa News Force and we have been following recent news reports that you are interested in purchasing Twitter for $43,000,000,000.00. We think that’s a fantastic idea! The only thing better than being prolific on a popular social media platform is owning a popular social media…
Read MoreTampa News Force personalities available to ride on parade floats
“A float with somebody famous on it is automatically a better float than one with a bunch of nobodies”
Read MoreUh oh! TNF Retraction! Tampa News Force forlornly retracts recent article after facts involved revealed to be true and accurate
Hello Tampa News Force Readership, what can we say? I think first we should say that we are sorry. Truly sorry. When we published our recent article: “Local Tampa Bay Open Micer Plans To Fly To Ukraine To Bomb Over There,” we did not realize the nature of the situation. Specifically we did not realize…
Read MoreTop Ten Worst Advertisements Here on TNF
You may have noticed that we have ads here on Tampa News Force. Not a huge surprise, all media platforms have some form of advertising. We love providing all this delicious content to you totally free of charge but we also gotta pay the ol’ billsy willsys! Most of them are pretty bad though. They’re…
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