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Angry God expected to rain out minor league baseball game

God, the revered, reviled, feared, ineffable, unpredictable and misunderstood supreme Christian deity, is very angry that the Tampa Tarpons have a female manager, according to a self-appointed human spokesperson.  “The Almighty takes a dim view of this kind of abomination,” said Delores Shtiffy of Seffner, referring to Rachel Balkovec, the first female manager in the…

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Chick-fil-A Rumspringa continues and concludes today

Rumspringa

Today is the final day of a little-known rite of passage for Chik-fil-A employees: Chick-fil-A Rumspringa. “It’s rare when Christmas falls on a Saturday. This year is the first time it’s happened since 2010 and the next time will be in 2024. Since we’re closed that day as we are every Sunday, we allow our…

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Top 5 Fastest ways to Hell

Welcome to Hell

Most religions describe a place you end up if you don’t live accordingly. That place is usually described as filled with pain and eternal suffering. While some think that place may be metaphorical, it’s up to the the individual to decide what they put their faith in. Today we’re going to countdown the 5 quickest…

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Creepy youth pastor lurking around Ybor confused with Matt Gaetz

This is not Matt Gaetz

A pastor for a new youth ministry cult east of Tampa has been spotted walking around Ybor City, and many people have mistakenly assumed he is Matt Gaetz, the U.S. representative for Florida’s 1st congressional district. “Matt Gaetz? Ha ha, no that’s not me. I’m Pastor Keith and I just want to hip the kids…

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Clearwater man forms new cult

New Cult

Rory Fulmp of Clearwater is scrambling to put a new cult together prior to the winter solstice on December 21. “When I found out that the Great Conjunction with Jupiter and Saturn, something that hasn’t happened in over 800 years will take place on the date of the Winter Solstice in this of all years,…

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Porch pirate converts to Islam on doorbell camera

Islamic porch pirate

When  noticed someone was walking onto his front porch to steal his most recent Amazon package, instead of attacking him or calling the police, the man confronted the potential thief, and within a matter of moments, was able to convert him to Islam, all which was documented from a Ring doorbell camera by his front…

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