Strawberry farmer sad to find out he planted beans instead

Plant City – Tampa – Monday, 2.11.2019 After a long brutal winter that decimated much of his yield in 2017, Plant City farmer Phillip Retchers vowed to make it up by planting the largest strawberry harvest he could. “I had to do everything I could to make up that loss,” says Retchers. “It wasn’t until a…

World’s biggest bong breaks in Tampa

Bong City – Tampa – Saturday, 2.9.2019 The world’s largest glass water-pipe, or better known “bong”, was destroyed in Tampa, while it was mishandled during a public displaying at a local glass shop. “We were just admiring the crystals and the chambers when all of a sudden we heard a loud crash and the bottom…

Homosassa Becomes Exclusive Gay-Black Community Named “HomoSassy”

City Hall – Homosassa – Wednesday, 2.6.2019 After a 5-4 vote between local legislators, the town of Homosassa, FL, will now officially be called “HomoSassy” and cater to only gay and black residents, exclusively. “It felt like a natural fit,” said county Urologist Nelson Mandelay. “The name is so close to homo-sassy, and I mean…

GoFundMe created to stop Tampa News Force

Update Saturday, 2.9.19 As of today, donations have begun pouring in to Shutdown Tampa News Force, it’s only a matter of time before supporters gather the necessary donations to purchase our publication and shut us down. Don’t let Shutdown Tampa News Force win! Help us stop the shutdown of Tampa News Force by donating today to our […]

Hyde Park pet groomer offers canine sex changes

Puppy Cuts – Tampa – Tuesday, 2.5.2019 In a perversely progressive move, local groomer “Puppy Cuts” will now offer sex changes for dogs. Per owner request, a dog will now have the ability to become a bitch or a boy. The surgery will be done all in-store, and should take less than 15 minutes, as […]

Longtime Tampa resident, Cuban coffee fears deportation

Guadalupes Espresso Roasting – East Tampa – Tuesday, 2.5.2019 Beloved community member and Tampa resident, Cuban coffee, fears his time in the United States is up due to the latest changes in immigration laws. “I came to this country and got my citizenship by setting foot on American soil,” says a freshly roasted batch of […]

“Minor Mondays” at gas station liquor stores goes citywide

Land O’Lakes – Tampa – Friday, 2.1.2019 What started out as a simple promotion by a Sunoco Gas Station in Wesley Chapel, has gone citywide in Tampa with a new push for “Minor Monday” as a way for gas stations to get rid of all their extra Four Loko’s and spiked seltzers. “Our usual booze […]

Two kids fight at skate park down the street

Bro Bowl – Tampa – Wednesday, 1.30.2019 Two young-adults, got into a physical altercation at the world-famous, Bro Bowl skate-park, by Downtown Tampa. “I’ll tell you what happened,” says a boy with red dreadlocks. He motions me to come towards him, however his friend puts me in a headlock from behind which I barely get […]

Tampa installs red light ramps to help ease traffic congestion

Carrolwood – Tampa – Tuesday, 1.29.2019 Tampa drivers rejoiced today as new red light launch ramps officially became operational on certain busy intersections to help ease traffic congestions. Drivers speeding and zipping in and out lanes towards a red light in rush hour traffic will now have a chance to launch their vehicles over stopped […]