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Hitler’s mom would have aborted him if not for abortion laws
In a new bombshell discovery regarding Hitler’s mother’s diaries, the deceased former leader of Germany’s mother was planning to terminate the pregnancy if it were not for strict Austrian abortion laws. “I just have a really bad feeling about this baby” read an entry from Adelaide Hitler, Adolph’s mother. “I feel it squirming around my…
Read MoreManufacturer recalls faulty emergency call boxes
Emergico Systems Inc., a Tampa-based company that manufactures emergency response equipment has announced that they are recalling their new line of TeleTek6000® emergency call boxes following a recent failed beta-testing trial of the units at a school in a small town somewhere in Texas. “The way they were supposed to work is, in the event…
Read MoreGirl Scout cookie turf war raging in downtown Tampa
Tampa’s Rick Scudlen decided he would help his 8-year-old daughter Caitlyn boost her sales of Girl Scout cookies this year. “She’s a tough little competitor so she wants to sell the most cookies. She gets that from her old man,” chuckled Scudlen, a sale associate at Robust Paradigm Shifters Inc., a company occupying an office…
Read MoreRick Scott comes dangerously close to endorsing CRT
Earlier today, U.S. Senator Rick Scott of Florida stopped just short of a full endorsement of Critical Race Theory (CRT), the extremely controversial and dangerous academic concept that teaches the core idea that race is a social construct, and that racism is not merely the product of individual bias or prejudice and also that white…
Read MoreTampa sugar daddy accidentally funds war crimes in Ukraine
A Tampa man who had been virtually paying a woman overseas for her company was linked to funding Russian war crimes in Ukraine after it was discovered he was being catfished. Kemp Hiller, an archaeologist in Pasco County had been sending a woman over the internet $400 per month for 2 years, when he recently…
Read MoreMass shootings should end now that St. Pete woman is sick of them
Following a mass shooting at an Independence Day parade in Highland Park, Illinois yesterday, Sandy Sterns of St. Petersburg has declared that she is completely over it. “This stuff happens all the time. It’s ridiculous”, she said. “And yesterday was a holiday; we all had the day off and were supposed to celebrate America and…
Read MoreRick Scott Touts New Abortion Alternative
“Today life wins!” Said Senator Rick Scott in a speech to supporters. “Sweet precious, delicious life.” He added, followed by a direct message to women seeking abortions. “If you are thinking of having an illegal abortion, call me and I’ll show up to eat your fetus.” Senator Scott then provided his personal cell phone number.…
Read MoreSupreme Court Justice Kavanaugh stops cleaning out fleshlight
Through the Freedom of Information act, a schedule of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanugh’s recent visits to the urologist have been released. The nature of the visits are protected by HIPAA but through an exclusive interview with an employee of the office who wished to remain anonymous, it seems the early draft of the now…
Read MoreFirst Lady coming to Florida!
A while back last year, First Lady Jill Biden (FLOTUS for short) and Dr. Anthony Fauci visited Tampa and we submitted a request for press credentials to see them. After what was obviously a thorough vetting by the Secret Service, the request was granted! Since then, FLOTUS’s office keeps in touch, specifically Asjia Garner: Communications…
Read MoreFirst Lady Jill Biden and U.S. Postal Service Unveil New Stamp Honoring Tampa News Force
On Monday, June 6, 2022, at 11:00 AM, First Lady Jill Biden hosted an unveiling of a new U.S. Postal Service (USPS) stamp honoring former First Lady Nancy Reagan Tampa News Force at the White House. The First Lady was joined by U.S. Postal Service employee Lonnie Brutche. The stamp depicts Tampa News Force founders…
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