Shopping
Publix to begin carpetbagging groceries
A new bagging policy at Publix is causing some concerns with customers who are not sure what “carpetbagging” means. “From what I’ve gathered in my quick Google search, it’s some political term,” said Publix bagger Jeni Richards. “They didn’t really train us on it, so I brought this strip of carpet from my house and…
Read MoreHot tub retailer in Clearwater observes 20th anniversary of national tragedy with hot tub sale
Spa Manufacturers, Inc., a company that makes and sells hot tubs and swim spas in Clearwater is commemorating the solemn occasion of remembering the four coordinated terrorist attacks carried out by al-Qaeda, an Islamist extremist group, that occurred on the morning of September 11, 2001, which killed 2,977 people, including 412 emergency workers, with a…
Read MoreGuy who never wears hats inundated with ads for hats
Robert Mitchell of Tampa is someone who doesn’t wear hats, yet all of his social media feeds are filled with advertising for hats for some reason. “I understand how algorithms and targeted marketing works, but this doesn’t make any sense”, he said. “I think I probably own a hat or two but for practical purposes,…
Read MoreTampa’s Top 5 Roadside Merchants
Hey, remember when you had to get in your car and drive to some fancy store with a display window and electric lights and like, a door or something, inside of some bourgeois mall like an asshole if you ever wanted to buy something? And then along came Web Sites® where you could buy anything…
Read MoreConservative Aldi Supermarket to Open in Largo
A new Trump-themed Aldi supermarket is opening along US-19 in Largo, FL. “We pretty much took Aldi’s concept and made it for Patriots only,” said supermarket founder, Chaz Rocket. “I’m also happy to announce that we will be open in time for Trumparilla baby!” Rocket then took out a t-shirt cannon and blasted a shirt…
Read MoreSt. Pete sports fan going broke on championship merch
Upon ordering the brand-new official NFC Championship t-shirt and cap commemorating the Bucs advancing to Super Bowl LV, Tanya Krussp of St. Petersburg realizes she has spent a small fortune on championship merchandise lately. “I’m strictly a die-hard Tampa Bay fan. I only care about my teams”, she said. “But every time you turn around…
Read MoreAdam Johnson signs exclusive deal for HSN show
Adam Johnson of Parrish, who has gained some notoriety recently for his participation in the insurrection at the Capitol Building in Washington DC on January 6th, has been given his own show with the Home Shopping Network. HSN producers say the St. Petersburg-based television network owned by the Qurate Retail Group, which also owns catalog company Cornerstone…
Read MoreTampa News Force official 2020 holiday gift guide
Happy Black Friday! In order to help you shop for gifts this year, we’ve enlisted the help of Vixxxie the TNElf, and her stupid boyfriend Brad, who have gathered a selection of items for sale from some of Tampa Bay’s best comedians. “Hi everyone! I’m Vixxxie the TNElf and I’ve found some just wonderful products…
Read MoreShoppers brawl over holiday decorations at Tampa CVS
A huge fight between a number of shoppers erupted yesterday at the CVS drug store at 6701 N. Dale Mabry, over which holiday decorations are appropriate to put on sale at this time of year and a complete inability to mind their own business. It began when two women entered the store and immediately encountered…
Read MoreHalloween costume designer facing unprecedented challenge
With Halloween approaching, a local costume designer is struggling to deal with unforeseen difficulties resulting from the pandemic. “Basically, how do you make a costume slutty in the COVID era?”, says Billy Braxwell, owner and chief designer for Braxwell’s House of Fashion in South Tampa. “Cat suits are being replaced by bio-hazard suits. There’s only…
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