Posts Tagged ‘COVID-19’
Refrigerated trailers totally not for storing victims succumbing to COVID-19
Tampa Bay Area residents should not be concerned at all about the six refrigerated containers recently staged at the Hillsborough County Medical Examiners Office on North 46th Street. “I know that with what’s going on with the pandemic that the sudden presence of giant refrigerators, suitable for the temporary storage of a number of dead…
Read MoreSatan petitions God to end pandemic; starts collecting signatures in Tampa
As we come to the halfway point in this clusterfuck of a year we’re calling 2020, an unlikely hero emerges and from the depths of the underworld of all places. Yes, Satan himself is here to save us all from Coronavirus. Satan is visiting Tampa this week collecting signatures to petition God for an end…
Read MoreFurries making a comeback, thanks to COVID-19
It’s no secret that safe sex has been a bit dicey since the COVID pandemic began earlier this year. New York City health officials even went so far as to recommend residents practice COVID-safe sex, through use of a “wall” (aka a glory hole). The porn industry seems to be particularly at risk for COVID…
Read MoreTampa Bay Rays Forced to Limit Seating Capacity to 150%
The Tampa Bay Rays had a unit of sunshine cast upon them in the form of good news. With the fate of the entire baseball season in doubt amid negotiations between the millionaire players and billionaire owners, The MLB and MLB Players Association have dugout an agreement. Despite heated arguments, a worldwide pandemic, and their…
Read MoreSt. Pete Man Allows People to Smell His Armpit as an Alternative Form of COVID Testing
“Well, the lines at the drive through state sanctioned testing facilities have gotten out of control, I wanted to give people another option.”
Read MoreSt Pete Woman Believes The Crystal in Her Purse Will End Corona Virus
Rachel Smith of Snell Isle holds a small round rose quartz in her hand, recalling how epic Burning Man was last year, and says she hopes that the Nevada Festival will resume in Fall of 2021. “It’s a really special crystal, a guy blessed it for me at Burning Man… well, on second thought, he…
Read MoreCooties numbers rise amongst pandemic
The disease originally thought only to be carried by girls and transmitted through actions such as hand holding, hugging or kissing in places like lunchroom cafeterias or playground tubes away from the judging eyes of other children, is more complex than ever imagined and has more sinister effects on the human body than originally thought.
Read MoreTampa car dealership no longer here for you
As the state of Florida relaxes quarantine standards, allowing more and more businesses to re-open, a car dealership in Tampa is operating at 100% pre-Coronavirus levels. “During these totally precedented and certain times, we here at Cliibbons Motorcars Emporium on North Florida Avenue in Tampa want you to know that we are absolutely, more than…
Read MoreYbor’s Spaghetti Warehouse awaits word on re-opening
Ybor City’s Spaghetti Warehouse, which closed prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, remains one of the local businesses that has yet to re-open in spite of restrictions being lifted, but management hopes for good news soon. “It’s been difficult, being closed all this time,” says manager Domino Papajohn. “Hopefully word will come down from the governor’s…
Read MoreWest Tampa man has greater appreciation of freedom, due to COVID-19
“I mean, I never served in the military. For that matter, I’ve never even been in any kind of situation where I might have to sacrifice anything for the sake of others. Now, after seeing examples set by various people around the country reacting to various quarantine restrictions, I’m so thankful for those who did make sacrifices, knowing that they did so with the intent of letting me do whatever I want!”
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