Posts Tagged ‘Florida’
Rick Scott Sees His Shadow, Predicts Six More Weeks of Broken Unemployment System
Unemployed Floridians this week waited in anticipation for an announcement from Governor Ron DeSantis about the state’s broken unemployment system. “We wanted to fix this thing as fast as we could,” said DeSantis who was licking a lollipop and pooping into a diaper under his suit. “Our unemployment system is broken because the guy before…
Read MoreRick Scott Urges Floridians To Wear A Mask, Admits He Impregnated Baby Goat
During a recent interview with Tampa News Force, Florida Senator Rick Scott urged all Floridians to wear a mask if they are in public, the message was very brief. “I’ve quarantined a couple of times due to my run-ins with people with the virus,” said Scott, who was chatting with me on Zoom and had…
Read MoreA letter of apology to Rick Scott
Hi Rick Scott, my name is Chingy and I work for Tampa News Force. In the past we have covered some of your major accomplishments, such as the time you won the award for Best Dick Pic, and that time you kicked a baby in the nuts, also that time that you were found eating…
Read MoreFlorida Police Announce ‘Guns for Mask’ Program
In an effort to supply more citizens in Florida with the N95 mask, the Brandon, Florida, police department has set-up a ‘Guns for Mask’ exchange to encourage gun owners to turn in their guns for a 10-pack of masks. “The hell I’m giving up my guns for something my wife can crochet together,” said fellow…
Read MoreFlorida Man Donates Stimulus Money to Trump Campaign
Many people across the United States received their COVID-19 stimulus package money today and one man in Florida is paying it forward in an attempt to win an autographed hat signed by President Trump himself. “I’ve been getting hundreds of emails a day from the Trump campaign telling me they are disappointed I haven’t donated…
Read MorePeople in Florida can’t get enough of this one thing. Can you guess what it is?
People in Florida love three things exclusively and we all know what they are so let’s just say them together: The beach, the water, and the weather. But this ongoing epidemic has brought a new object of affection to the table. While Florida can be split up as six to eight different sections with their…
Read MorePort Richey man can’t believe he doesn’t know anyone who owns a boat
Port Richey – Pasco County – Thursday 3.21.2019 Local insurance adjuster Mike Frimpton, a resident of Port Richey for over 30 years, simply can’t believe he doesn’t know a single person who owns a boat. “What the hell?” Frimpton asks rhetorically, “I live in a place that’s surrounded by water to the west and on…
Read MoreGovernor Desantis declares Florida a State of Emergen-C®
Tampa Social Club – Hillsborough County – Sunday 2.24.2019 Speaking to a standing room crowd at Tampa’s most prestigious social club, Florida Governor Ron Desantis started by thanking the crowd and then coughed…for a while. One of his aides rushed to the stage and handed him a cup of water. He reached for the cup…
Read MoreTAMPA NEWS FORCE – 3/10/18 – GASPARILLA MUSIC FESTIVAL!
Tampa News Force shows up to the 2018 Gasparilla Music Festival to interview some concert goers about their opinions on music.
Read MoreGasparilla 2017
Having fun at Gasparilla! Let’s go Bolts!
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