Business
An incredible, $pecial opportunity for Mr. Elon Musk
Dear Mr. Elon Musk, Hi. How are you? We are Tampa News Force and we have been following recent news reports that you are interested in purchasing Twitter for $43,000,000,000.00. We think that’s a fantastic idea! The only thing better than being prolific on a popular social media platform is owning a popular social media…
Read MoreMentally challenged CEO makes expensive mistake
Bourbon Grandelson, CEO and co-founder of Newton’s Bulges, a company which increases the size of a mans bulge in his pants through a plastic shield technology, has committed a costly accident after accidentally ordering 15,000 units of a bulge model made from the wrong material. “I was supposed to order the standard molten plastic with…
Read MoreInflatable dancing tube man fails to draw attention to Tampa business grand opening
A new car wash on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa recently held a grand opening and enlisted the help of an inflatable dancing tube man to draw the attention of prospective customers, a marketing tactic that failed to produce the desired results. “I expected the inflatable dancing tube man to amuse and delight people with his…
Read MoreNFL offering losing Super Bowl merch as NFTs
“In this case, ‘NFT’ stands for ‘No Football Trophy'”
Read MoreSt. Pete woman convinced she has direct influence on local economy
Denise Bazugas of St. Petersburg firmly believes that her spending habits have a noticeable and measurable impact on local businesses. “‘Get Woke, Go Broke’ is an economic principle I believe in and support,” she said. “If you put a rainbow-colored ‘BLM’ sticker on your front window, I will not patronize your establishment and you will…
Read MoreTampa Bay’s first Small Batch Sperm Bank set to open in St. Pete
This spring, Tampa Bay will be home to the very first of its kind, small batch sperm bank. You have questions and so did we when we sat down with managing partner and brainchild of the operation, Peter Pulaski. He had plenty to say on the issue when TNF correspondent Miles Neff sat down to…
Read MoreBetty White’s corpse featured at Dinosaur World
Dinosaur World in Plant City has gotten a new attraction, as the corpse of former actress Betty White has been stuffed and prominently featured amongst the dinosaurs at Dinosaur World. “Well it was actually a case of a Storage-Wars-style interaction gone awry, as we were originally betting on an unopened storage unit, however the coffin…
Read MoreFart Jar Store Opens in Hyde Park
To cater to wealthy patrons in the Hyde Park area of South Tampa, one business owner has decided to switch gears on their business plan. “We originally only sold decorative paper products and supplies,” said Gas Source owner, Wallen McFarfellow. “I was tired of having to buy all this stuff to sell at a markup…
Read MoreWhy slots are an elite addictive form of gambling
Slots are the best form of gambling. That’s been determined long ago with the Big Bang theory. Random things happen, big and small, and everything on earth is left up to chance. Slot machines are random. Stacked against you. Just like the world. All you have is your luck and faith. “It will hit. It…
Read MoreGators to Build Casino on Preservation Land
Citing the fact that they have been around since before the US government was formed, a coalition of alligators have announced their plans to open one of the most lawless casinos in Florida. “GRRHHHHHHH,” grumbled one of the hungry-looking alligators during a recent press conference. Along with every kind of regular gambling that is currently…
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