Transportation
Residents Outraged Over Robert E Lee Road As Mandela Effect Hits Tampa
Robert E. Lee Road – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 6.29.19 Tampa residents are more divided than ever as the city might have fallen prey to a deviation in our conceivable timeline or what is colloquially known as “The Mandela Effect.” Conspiracy theorists from all over the world are traveling to our beloved city with their…
Read MoreAutonomous Cars Fear Driving on Roads with Florida Drivers
Selmon Expressway – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 6.13.19 Transportation providers are bracing for the impact of autonomous cars, but the vehicles themselves are expressing concerns about being on the road with Florida drivers. “I don’t want to leave this garage,” said a Tesla Model S that was charging up in my friends garage. I broke…
Read MoreTampa announces plan to make traffic worse
Downtown Tampa – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 6.12.19 While pretending to listen to a packed room of angry citizens, Hillsborough County leaders announced their plans to make the highway worse for everyone. “We’ve been listening to the community complain about this monstrosity cutting through the middle of our city for many years now,” said Hillsborough…
Read MoreFDOT Announces new I-275 Whites-only Express Lanes
Tampa Information Center – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 6.8.2019 The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) held a community meeting today to announce a new transportation initiative to cure Tampa’s Interstate 275 bottleneck and malfunction junction. “We’ve noticed that a lot of historic buildings, low-income housing and hipster-type restaurants are still up along the sides of…
Read MoreI-275 to Triple in Size, New FDOT Details Released
Tampa Community Center – Hillsborough County – Tuesday 4.9.2019 After many years of continuous planning and drafting, the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has finalized a plan that will see Interstate 275 triple in size. “We’ve gotten every single suggestion imaginable when it comes to fixing the traffic in Tampa,” says FDOT Planning and Research…
Read MoreFlorida Passes Legislation Enforcing Turn Signal Use, Citizens Panic
Tallahassee – Leon County – Wednesday 3.27.2019 After months of bipartisan bickering, the Florida House argued late into early Wednesday morning during a special session that saw the passage of HB 469 making turn signals mandatory during all lane merging or turning. The House voted 57-56 to pass the legislation and was sent to Gov.…
Read MorePort Richey man can’t believe he doesn’t know anyone who owns a boat
Port Richey – Pasco County – Thursday 3.21.2019 Local insurance adjuster Mike Frimpton, a resident of Port Richey for over 30 years, simply can’t believe he doesn’t know a single person who owns a boat. “What the hell?” Frimpton asks rhetorically, “I live in a place that’s surrounded by water to the west and on…
Read MoreYbor crazy for E-Boards
Ybor City – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 2.26.2019 Tampa is the newest city to likely see e-scooters motoring alongside pedestrians on city sidewalks. A proposed ordinance would allow scooters on sidewalks south of MLK Jr. Boulevard between Armenia Ave and 40th Street, a 12-square mile area that does not include East 7th Ave in Ybor…
Read MoreTampa to limit sale of Ford F-150s to stop number of assholes on the road
Tampa Ford – Hillsborough County – Monday 2.18.2019 In an effort to minimize the number of assholes on the road, Hillsborough County has set a cap to number of Ford F150s being sold. “We hope this initiative will help alleviate road congestion, and make it a little easier to merge on the highway,” says Tampa…
Read MoreProposed Tampa streetcar expansion to bring more grind rails, skitch grips, scooter ropes
Co-CityWorks – Tampa Heights – Tuesday 2.12.2019 The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) unveiled its latest plans for the proposed expansion to the Tampa Streetcar today to a standing-room only crowd at a local co-work space. FDOT officials announced that the current 2.7 mile streetcar track, which zips passengers between Ybor City, Channelside and Downtown…
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