Search results for: brooksville
Brooksville company introduces line of healthy treats for racists
Good Neighbor Bakery, a manufacturer of snack foods based in Brooksville has announced a new line of products designed for racists trying to live a healthy lifestyle. “Let’s face it, a lot of the people who are trying to represent the ‘master race’ aren’t exactly prime physical specimens,” says bakery manager Juff Muzzler. “We need…
Read MoreHarvard moving to Brooksville
“This is a tremendous achievement in academics for Florida. The entire state’s GPA increased by half a point as soon as we signed the paperwork!” – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis
Read MoreBrooksville To Host Klan Lives Matter Rally
Protestors are set to march towards Brooksville’s famous Hanging Tree located in front of the Downtown Courthouse as part of the Klan Lives Matter Rally. “We are tired of the persecution and we want cops to stop killing us,” said Ike Ford, a Florida Klansmen and organizer of the event. “This rally is about what…
Read MoreBrooksville to unveil new statue
The City of Brooksville, (currently) named after a violently bigoted 19th century senator from South Carolina, is planning to unveil a new statue outside the county courthouse. “We’re seeking to bring all the diverse populations of our community together, and what brings folks who live in a community that actually has diverse populations together like…
Read MoreTNF staffer seeks to re-brand Brooksville
The town of Brooksville, Florida is named after Preston Brooks. He was an American politician and Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from South Carolina, serving from 1853 until his resignation in July 1856 and again from August 1856 until his death. His most notable “accomplishment” was attacking Senator Charles Sumner, an abolitionist, and…
Read MoreDeSantis releases hit song
He’s a man with a singular focus, yet multiple talents
Read MoreNew Local Business Spotlight: We Don’t Know
Here at Tampa News Force, we love to poke fun at various local institutions, but ultimately we love the Tampa Bay Area and want nothing but unqualified success for everyone who lives in and does business in the various communities that make up this vibrant and diverse region. Except Brooksville, of course. Brooksville sucks and…
Read MoreRacists claim victory in Tampa Bay Lightning line-up “failure”
For the first time in the 104-year history of the NHL, a forward line consisting of all black players started a game when the Tampa Bay Lightning sent out Daniel Walcott, Gemel Smith and Mathieu Joseph to begin Monday night’s tilt against the Florida Panthers in Sunrise, a game the Lightning lost 4-0. “Welp, I guess that settles…
Read MorePublic stoning of psychics scheduled for today
A public stoning of all psychics, as well as all fortune tellers, mediums, clairvoyants, palm readers and soothsayers will take place later this afternoon and evening in Brooksville. “It’s not because we fear their supernatural prowess”, says event organizers Bartholomew Balthazar. “Quite the opposite, actually. We’re frustrated with their complete lack of any kind of…
Read MoreRebekah Mercer announces plan to purchase Tampa News Force
Rebekah Mercer, the American heiress, foundation director, and major Republican donor who helped create the social media platform Parler, has announced that she has submitted an offer to purchase Tampa News Force from current owner, OJ Simpson. “It’s a perfect, natural fit for us to acquire this property and blend two tremendous services”, she said at…
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