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Tampa man returns to work to find disgusting ‘fridge


Roy McMallard, an employee with International Product Distribution, Inc., in Tampa returned to work in the company’s offices for the first time since March of 2020 and was disgusted by the state of the breakroom’s refrigerator. “I’ve been working from home since COVID hit back in 2020 and that was pretty great, but there are…

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DeSantis victory tour among events not getting cancelled in spite of rise in COVID cases

With reported cases of COVID-19 more than doubling in the state of Florida last week, speculation is rising that the return of certain preventative restrictions might be necessary and imminent.  Regardless, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said that one event that will definitely not be postponed or cancelled is his self-congratulatory victory tour.  “I did it,…

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Tampa man fired for operating fantasy sports league in workplace

Fantasy Death Pool

Fuad Tyson, a shift supervisor at Ted’s Tendies, a food processing plant in Tampa specializing in chicken parts, has been fired for betting on how many workers would contract COVID-19 at his job. “It was just spontaneous fun and intended to boost morale,” said Tyson. “Excuse me for trying to make the drudgery of being…

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Man’s face shield makes dozens sick at Tampa Publix

Hillsborough County health officials have determined that Instacart shopper Matt Spuiz is responsible for making several people shopping for groceries at the Publix on West Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa violently ill, in spite of wearing a face shield. “It’s because of the face shield, not in spite of it”, said Dr. Meghan Hammerstein. “Speaking strictly…

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Food critic with COVID trashes Seminole Heights eatery for bland food

Food Critic

Randy Glidwad, the restaurant critic for the completely unknown-yet-relatively popular local blog “RandEatz” was recently diagnosed with COVID-19 but that hasn’t stopped him from continuing to review local eateries, including a savage one-star takedown of a popular spot in Seminole Heights. “Every single item I tried tasted exactly the same; like nothing”, he said in…

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City of St. Pete introduces mobile vaccine distribution unit

Vaccine Truck

As the country prepares for the distribution of a COVID-19 vaccine, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman, has come up with a creative way to get the treatment out locally. “Some people are vehemently opposed to getting the vaccine and that’s an issue. But nobody is opposed to food trucks”, he said. “People love those stupid…

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COVID-19 cure found in microwaved urine

Cure for COVID-19 Found in urine

Langsley Newton of Deltona Lakes, Florida has discovered that after a diet of microwaved urine for two weeks, ze is no longer infected with the Covid-19 Coronavirus. Doctors attribute the desecration of the disease to the fact that Newton’s body was under extreme stress and panic which caused a mass exodus of toxins from zirs…

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Rich People in Tampa are Exempted from Quarantine

Rich People Are Unable to Catch the COVID-19 virus

While much of Florida begins a quarantine that hopes to stop the spread of COVID-19, people with incomes greater than $35,000 a year are celebrating the fact that they are too rich to contract the virus.  “I’m not rich,” said Shairy Woods, a woman who works two jobs and barely makes $36,000 a year.  “I…

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