Posts Tagged ‘DeSantis ron’
Alternative to critical race theory to be taught in Florida schools this fall
In a press conference at Tampa Heights Elementary Magnet School Saturday, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced that there will be changes made to the state’s public education curriculum, but Critical Race Theory is still off the table. “Okay, we’re willing to acknowledge that some of our teaching resources might… might… be a little out of…
Read MorePasco-Hernando State College Wins Florida Budget Lottery
During an event today, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis unveiled his $100 billion budget for Florida’s 2021-2022 session. As part of the budget, DeSantis made it clear that it will not provide Hillsborough County with 0.000033% of the budget to fund workforce development, public school summer bridge programming, music education for children, safer crosswalks at public…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis grants exclusive access to TNF for all future legislative signing stuff
Following yesterday morning’s signing of a new bill by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis that aims to restrict voting rights for millions of people that was covered exclusively by Fox News, DeSantis announced that from now on all such legislative events will be covered by Tampa News Force and no other media outlets. “Yesterday’s event went…
Read MoreRon DeSantis eats poop
According to a Tallahassee neighbor of the Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis is on a poop-eating rampage. The source requests to remain anonymous but provided an alias; Timmy Bananas says, “I looked over my fence one day while I was tending to my orange tree, only to see Ron on all fours with his head in…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis’ handpicked panel of experts completely agrees with Governor DeSantis
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis held a public health roundtable in Tampa Thursday afternoon, where he invited a panel of scientists, researchers, doctors and various experts to weigh in on issues surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, all of whom agreed that DeSantis has done a terrific job dealing with the pandemic. “Huh. How about that”, said DeSantis.…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis Proposes Florida Immigration Test
As more and more people flock to Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis seeks to slow migration from other states by implementing a comprehensive immigration exam. In order to take up permanent, legal residence in the state of Florida, applicants will have to successfully pass a battery of tests that the Governor colloquially refers to as “The…
Read MoreRon DeSantis looks for a sugar mama at Publix
In January, Ron DeSantis began frequenting checkout lines and ice cream aisles of Publix grocery stores to schmooze the states’ feeblest citizens.
Read MoreCOVID test numbers expected to plummet to record lows in Tampa this weekend
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is reporting that projections indicate that there will be zero positive COVID-19 test results from Tampa between now and the end of the Christmas weekend, which he is giddily touting as a Christmas Miracle. “It’s a Christmas Miracle!”, he touted giddily at a hastily arranged press conference on Dale Mabry Highway,…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis shows up late for tree lighting in Ybor
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis showed up very early this morning in Ybor City to participate in the 10th annual holiday tree lightning ceremony, which took place over two weeks ago. “I kind of wanted to avoid the crowd”, he said. “Plus, showing up fashionably late is something that’s cool to do.” The event was presented…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis appoints official Florida Man
“I am sick and tired of all the stupid ‘Florida Man’ jokes’, said DeSantis at a press conference held at Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa yesterday afternoon.
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