Posts Tagged ‘Rays’
TNF 2020 World Series preview: Rays-Dodgers
The 2020 World Series between the Tampa Bay Rays and Los Angeles Dodgers begins tonight at 8:09pm, with all games scheduled to be played at the home of the Texas Rangers, Globe Life Park in Arlington, Texas, due to COVID-19, making this the first World Series in history to be played at a neutral site.…
Read MoreStingray that killed Steve Irwin gets job at Stingray Chevrolet
The giant stingray that killed Steve Irwin, the beloved Australian zookeeper, television personality, wildlife expert, environmentalist, and conservationist has been hired as a sales associate at Stingray Chevrolet in Plant City. The cartilaginous fish known scientifically as “Myliobatoidei” was wearing a nametag reading “Norman” and talked to Tampa News Force on his first day at…
Read MoreTampa Bay Area Yankees fans begin annual transition
The Tampa Bay Rays beat the New York Yankees 2-1 Friday night in San Diego to advance to the American League Championship where they’ll face the Houston Astros. The game was tied 1-1 until Mike Brosseau hit a solo home run off cheap-shot artist, wife beater and certified all-around shithead Aroldis Chapman in the bottom…
Read MoreRays accidentally play NBA game
After accidentally arriving at the wrong location in Orlando, the Tampa Bay Rays played a full NBA game against the Oklahoma City Thunder. What was nothing more than a miscommunication between the bus driver and the event coordinator, instead of going to the Disney World Magical Kingdom theme park, the driver went to the Disney…
Read MoreTampa Bay Rays Forced to Limit Seating Capacity to 150%
The Tampa Bay Rays had a unit of sunshine cast upon them in the form of good news. With the fate of the entire baseball season in doubt amid negotiations between the millionaire players and billionaire owners, The MLB and MLB Players Association have dugout an agreement. Despite heated arguments, a worldwide pandemic, and their…
Read MoreFlorida Aquarium to become new home of the Rays
In a landmark deal, the Rays Touch Tank stingrays will be moving out of Tropicana Field and will now be housed at the Channelside Florida Aquarium. “These stingrays haven’t seen actual sunlight in years,” said Rays owner Stu Sternberg. “Within the next few years, you are all going to be seeing less and less of…
Read MoreRays playoffs to be held in Montreal
As part of the organizations “fuck the fans” program, the Rays will be holding their postseason games in a stadium in Montreal which is usually being occupied by the West Cooperstown High Hogs, a high school team which is loaning their facilities to the major league baseball team which is currently in no mans land…
Read MoreTampa Business Owner Digs Through Garage for Old Rays Memorabilia
In an attempt to congratulate the Tampa Bay Rays on their playoff achievement, local business owner Manny Plaqueiao spent much of his weekend digging through his garage looking for his old Rays memorabilia to hang up around his place of business. “I went to one game this year when they had the $2 tickets,” said…
Read MoreTampa Bay Rays Sign 10,000 Homeless People to Boost Attendance
Tropicana Field – Pinellas County – Thursday 4.4.2019 In a stunning move by the Tampa Bay Rays, General Manager and Vice President of Baseball Operations, Erik Neander has signed 10,000 homeless people to three year contracts in order to give the illusion of more fans. “This is a huge day for our organization. Obviously the…
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