Business
Tampa Based Cryptocurrency Ranked Most Stable in the World
A Tampa-based cryptocurrency is being hailed for its inventive new strategy that has crypto experts in disbelief. While most cryptocurrencies are backed by absolutely nothing, Tampa’s very own official cryptocurrency, Tampa Coin, has managed to tie its value algorithm with the probability of Tampa sports teams winning games. “When Tampa Coin was created, it was…
Read MoreTampa man is going to miss his Zoom background
Rich Strikeforce of Tampa is returning to work in his office at Systematic Business Systems Inc. in downtown Tampa for the first time in over two years and is really sad about no longer working from home. “This sucks. I don’t mean having to go back to the office, per se; I don’t mind working…
Read MoreElon Musk to buy Popular Ybor Toilets in Twitter offshoot
Notable tech giant Elon Musk has been seen in the Ybor City area attempting to purchase toilets in order to create a physical space for Twitter. “It just makes sense to me you know?” he said in a recent interview on the popular Joe Rogan podcast. “Twitter needs to be more than just a digital…
Read MoreSt. Pete men cashing in on baby formula shortage
With the nation facing a critical shortage of baby formula, two men in St. Petersburg are offering what they claim is an adequate, temporary substitute. “Yeah, we can hook you up, young moms and dads but especially moms, said Sonny Jennings. “We are the milk pimps.” Jennings said that he and his partner have developed…
Read MoreSt. Pete entrepreneur has innovative idea for shipping containers
Steve Addor, a business man in St. Petersburg has a radical new idea on how to repurpose shipping containers. “I was thinking I’d put shit in them and ship them,” he said. “I’m not sure why nobody thought of this before. But I like to think outside the box. Or in this case, inside the…
Read MoreGrown Man Riding Hoverboard Offering Unsolicited Business Advice
While touring around his new neighborhood, northern transplant Trevor Plumb decided to offer nearby business owners tips to make things more accommodating for him. “I almost didn’t come in here,” said Plumb who decided to enter a coffee shop without getting off of his children’s toy commonly referred to as a hoverboard. “Yeah, that sign…
Read MoreTampa Opens Paddleboard Hunting Range
A new business venture is hoping to combine the thrill of hunting wildlife with the serenity of paddleboarding. Kill Paddle Kill is Florida’s first attraction of its kind. “We have too many things that need killing on the Hillsborough River,” said owner and manager of Kill Paddle Kill, Mike Openhager. “We were originally a paddleboarding…
Read MoreAn incredible, $pecial opportunity for Mr. Elon Musk
Dear Mr. Elon Musk, Hi. How are you? We are Tampa News Force and we have been following recent news reports that you are interested in purchasing Twitter for $43,000,000,000.00. We think that’s a fantastic idea! The only thing better than being prolific on a popular social media platform is owning a popular social media…
Read MoreMentally challenged CEO makes expensive mistake
Bourbon Grandelson, CEO and co-founder of Newton’s Bulges, a company which increases the size of a mans bulge in his pants through a plastic shield technology, has committed a costly accident after accidentally ordering 15,000 units of a bulge model made from the wrong material. “I was supposed to order the standard molten plastic with…
Read MoreInflatable dancing tube man fails to draw attention to Tampa business grand opening
A new car wash on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa recently held a grand opening and enlisted the help of an inflatable dancing tube man to draw the attention of prospective customers, a marketing tactic that failed to produce the desired results. “I expected the inflatable dancing tube man to amuse and delight people with his…
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