Business
Mall Santa relieved of duties
A man working at the old mall in Tampa has been fired from his annual seasonal job, just weeks before Christmas. “Please just call me Santa Claus,” the otherwise unnamed man said. “Because it’s a responsibility I take seriously and when I put this suit on, I am Santa Claus.” “No, you’re not,” said mall…
Read MoreTampa News Force buys all unused Twitter ad inventory
Due to huge corporations like Volkswagen, General Mills and others pausing their paid advertising accounts with Twitter until further notice, the social media platform recently purchased by Elon Musk is reporting a “massive drop in revenue”. This has resulted in a huge block of advertising inventory from the site being available for purchase at a…
Read More717 Parking Enterprises creates ‘717 Parking Enterprises II’
Jason Accardi, President and CEO of Seven One Seven Parking Enterprises, announced yesterday that a new company has been formed: 717 Parking Enterprises II. “People are liable to hear this and think this is some sort of lawsuit or tax dodge, to escape some sort of legal punishment for conducting shady business, ala President Trump,”…
Read MorePete Davidson Buys Tampa News Force
Pete Davidson of SNL fame has announced plans to purchase the majority ownership of THIS PUBLICATION! [Tampa News Force] “I’ve been trying to find new things to get my mind off of the crazy stuff happening to me right now,” said Davidson during a heavy weed smoking session with current TNF owner, OJ Simpson “I…
Read MoreClearwater woman threatens to give less than her usual 65% at work today
Amber McCambister, a sales clerk at Robust Businessmakers Inc. in Clearwater has to work today, Labor Day, and is not happy about it. “This is bullshit”, she said. “Everybody in the world has the day off today, except for me and hospitality workers, emergency service providers, some medical professionals, people who work in agriculture and…
Read MoreTampa man quits job over way staff is treated the first time he feels mistreated
Larry Landerson, formerly a sales department manager with Business Corp., a successful business corporation operating out of Rivergate Tower in downtown Tampa, has resigned due to what he feels is unfair mistreatment. “Sure, there’s always been mistreatment of certain employees there. That was part of the culture, but it wasn’t pervasive in a meaningful way…
Read MoreChik-fil-A to use Tampa Bay Area locations to teach business classes
Chik-fil-A, the national fast food chain specializing in chicken sandwiches has announced plans for the use of some of their locations in the Tampa Bay Area on Sundays, when the restaurants are closed. “We’re closed every Sunday so our staff can observe the biblical edict that Sunday is the Lord’s day but our restaurants themselves…
Read MoreSticker company stock crashing as gas prices begin to drop
StickCo, the company that manufactures the Joe Biden “I DID THAT!” stickers has seen their stock prices plummet as gas prices are down more than .30 a gallon at some Tampa Bay Area gas stations. “This is a disaster! We were doing so well!” said StickCo spokesperson Mary Remilade. “Typically, our clientele is schoolchildren, kids…
Read MoreCan you afford Tampa?
If you live in Tampa or are planning to move to the Tampa Bay area, you should ask yourself if you can afford Tampa. Here are some things to consider: Do you have enough money to buy a Cuban sandwich twice a week? How often do you frequent strip clubs and how much money do…
Read MoreTampa Based Cryptocurrency Ranked Most Stable in the World
A Tampa-based cryptocurrency is being hailed for its inventive new strategy that has crypto experts in disbelief. While most cryptocurrencies are backed by absolutely nothing, Tampa’s very own official cryptocurrency, Tampa Coin, has managed to tie its value algorithm with the probability of Tampa sports teams winning games. “When Tampa Coin was created, it was…
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