Posts Tagged ‘Jokes’
Sacred Geometry just a bunch of gay numbers
I went to check out all that sacred geometry bullsh*t that everybody is always talking about and it was just a bunch of stupid numbers. Who cares? So everything in life can be broken down mathematically and that’s where binary comes from, and all matter is just tiny particles floating around and colliding and this…
Read MoreTampa man regrets ending year on sour note with boss
A full day after an unfortunate incident at his job, Ronald Robertson, a clerk at ClerkCo’s home office in downtown Tampa, was still feeling remorse to the point of being in a state of mild shock. “I just can’t believe it,” he said. “I had my shot and I blew it. There’s no excuse and…
Read MoreWhich party consumes more Adrenochrome? Democrat or Republican: A full breakdown
Conspiracies have flown around the internet for a while now that wealthy elites in power consume the blood of children who have been scared to release adrenaline. (This is something that people sincerely believe.) We’re going to breakdown which party most-likely consumes more of this enriched blood. Democrat: Great with image, everything is about perception…
Read MoreMan famous for cancelling people gets cancelled
Donovan Menendez “Canny” Cancelero, a 45-year-old dog breeder who rose to fame by publicly cancelling people on his Etsy page has been cancelled himself after word got out that he’s a necrophiliac of animals. “Donovan cancelled me for leaving an 8% tip on my Steak-N-Shake meal, so to get back at him I did a…
Read MoreSecret society member almost gets in trouble
A rookie TPD officer is making headlines after processing Jeremiah Rothsfather, a well known high-ranking member of a wealthy, elite, powerful, secret organization. “What a rookie idiot, he had no clue!” Laughed officer Perry Ramirez, partner of the rookie officer who has asked to remain unnamed due to impending doom. “He’s going to be whacked…
Read MoreBabies #MeToo politicians who kissed them
A group of babies led by one child prodigy who is able to speak and communicate with other babies despite being only 3 months old, have begun cancelling the politicians who have kissed them against their will at campaign rallies. “Just because our parents have held us out towards the politicians does not imply consent.”…
Read MoreTop Five People You Can Still Make Fun Of
Last week, the entire world witnessed an altercation between Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Academy Awards presentation ceremony after Rock made a joke at the expense of Smith’s wife Jada, who suffers from alopecia areata. This has resulted in significant increases in two specific areas:1) People Googling “alopecia areata” 2) People suddenly worrying that being…
Read MoreLetter from IRS bodes poor for TNF writer’s future
An email from the IRS was sent to TNF writer Chris Coon, and we’ve published the message in it’s entirety here: From The Internal Revenue Service: To Christopher Coon, CEO of “Chris Coon’s Flimsy Alligator Tax Shelter,” I am hereby denying the tax exempt status of your organization. Your mission statement: “Alligators should be more…
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