Posts Tagged ‘Rick Scott in the news’
Rick Scott reunites with band mates
KISS fans who saw the band’s recent performance at the MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre a couple of weeks ago were treated to a rare occurrence; original founding member Florida Senator Rick Scott joined the band for a few numbers for the first time since the 1970’s. “It was a big surprise to see Rick here…
Read MoreRick Scott to undertake unmanned space flight mission
In an effort to find out “just what the heck is going on up there”, Senator Rick Scott has announced that he will be launching himself into outer space. “Elon Musk is trying to get into space. So is Jeff Bezos. Why? What do they think is up there and how would it benefit them?…
Read MoreRick Scott presents himself with award
Last night in a ceremony in Tampa, US Senator and former Florida Governor Rick Scott presented an achievement award to himself. “I’ve been travelling around a lot, handing out various awards to deserving recipients, and it suddenly occurred to me the other day, you know who really deserves an award?”, he said. “Me.” A gathering…
Read MoreRick Scott observes National Donut Day
U.S. Senator and former Governor of Florida Rick Scott took time out from his busy daily agenda of pandering to his base by constantly Tweeting his disdain for President Joe Biden to pander to his base about his love for donuts on National Donut Day 2021 earlier today. As his loyal followers ignored the fact…
Read MoreRick Scott handing out more ‘awards’
Following last week’s spectacularly successful presentation of the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s inaugural “Champion for Freedom” award by Senator Rick Scott to former President Donald Trump, Scott is now handing out more new, fake, made-up achievement tokens in an effort to make people not be mad at him. “Okay, I resent your implications, you lousy…
Read MoreRick Scott announces plan to overhaul AMBER Alert program
“I’m the one who totally revamped Florida’s unemployment system; there’s no reason I can’t do it again in this case, with equally spectacular results”
Read MoreRick Scott will sign your “Delta Farce” DVD for $40
In an effort to stand up to the imaginary trend known as “cancel culture” that is currently panicking many conservatives, Rick Scott announced that he will be autographing DVD copies of the 2007 comedy “Delta Farce”, starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls. “Rick Scott here. Right now, I’m ping to try…
Read MoreNRSC Selects Rick Scott to Make US Senate More Racist
After Republicans lost the US Senate majority, the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) selected Florida Senator and Slender Man impersonator, Rick Scott, as their new Chairman. “As you may have heard, I have just now taken over as the Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee,” said Scott in a video message he released on…
Read MoreRon DeSantis sends get well wishes to Rick Scott
Following the announcement that Senator Rick Scott has tested positive for having Covid-19, Florida Governor has sent his predecessor a hand-written get well card. “It’s no secret that Rick and I have had our differences,” said DeSantis. “But President Trump is always reminding me that he’s a colleague and a good fellow Republican, so I…
Read MoreRick Scott to open boys preparatory academy in St. Pete
Senator Rick Scott announced his plan to open the first of what he hopes will be a statewide chain of prep schools for boys in St. Petersburg. “It’ll be called the School of Rick and the mission will be to teach boys to be men,” says the former governor of Florida. “I mean, obviously boys…
Read More