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Lightning goal horn sounds prematurely again
At last night’s NHL Eastern Conference Final game between the Tampa Bay Lightning and New York Rangers, which the Lightning won 4-1 to even the best-of-seven series at two games apiece, the goal horn went off after a shot from Lightning defenseman Jan Ruuta went wide of the net at the 14:50 mark of the…
Read MoreRussian propaganda spotted in Tampa Heights
A billboard in Russian has appeared on Tampa Street in Tampa Heights, just south of the intersection with Emily Avenue, heightening fears that the Russians are planning to invade Tampa and may already have operatives embedded in the area. “It appears to be a recruiting poster,” said resident Claymatia Pierce. “It probably says something like,…
Read MoreDiscounted oil Shell bought from Russia headed to Tampa Circle K
The Shell Oil Corporation is reporting that the 100,000 metric tons of flagship Urals crude oil it purchased from Russia at a significant discount is being routed to a specific Circle K location in Tampa. According to Shell, the controversial transaction which has drawn worldwide scorn and criticism was supposed to at least partially benefit…
Read MorePasco County court re-classifies popcorn as lethal weapon
In the surprising acquittal of accused murderer Curtis Reeves late Friday, a Pasco County court has ruled that having popcorn thrown at you justifies killing someone under Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” statute. “What we’d been led to believe all this time was a delicious snack to munch on during movies is actually a deadly weapon,”…
Read MoreSt. Pete sailor claims knowledge of mysterious shipwreck
A St. Petersburg man who goes by the name of Salty Rick is claiming that he has knowledge of a ship that nobody has ever heard of sinking in Tampa Bay over a century ago. We met him at the makeshift maritime museum in what was once the game room at his beach bar and…
Read MoreTampa Police Ready to Receive Instructions From New Broad
Tampa Mayor Jane Castor announced earlier today that former Tampa Police officer and deputy chief Mary O’Connor has been chosen to serve as the next chief of the Tampa Police Department (TPD), pending confirmation from the City Council. The selection doesn’t meet all of the criteria set by President Joe Biden, who had taken an…
Read MoreBill backed by DeSantis would make it illegal to cause discomfort for white people
Last Thursday, a Florida state Senate committee advanced a bill (S.B. 148), which would protect white people from feeling uncomfortable due to being taught or trained about past discrimination in public schools and private businesses. Monday morning, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who endorses the bill, held a press briefing at the Red Roof Inn by…
Read MoreDumb-ass idea dies deservedly
The Tampa Bay Rays proposal to share the financially beleaguered Major League Baseball (MLB) franchise with the city of Montreal, a concept the organization has been committed to for years, has been officially squashed by Major League Baseball’s executive council. “We didn’t step in sooner because we had no idea that this was something being…
Read MoreRick Scott scheduled to perform at Clearwater Marine Aquarium
US Senator Rick Scott of Florida will be replacing Winter the Dolphin on a temporary basis at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. “Winter was beloved by children everywhere, many of whom are visiting Florida for the holidays,” said Scott. “And since her unfortunate and untimely passing, probably at the hands of Joe Biden… although I have…
Read MoreBrooksville changes its name
The city of Brooksville in Hernando County, originally named after a pro-slavery to the point of being physically violent South Carolina senator named Preston Brooks, has decided to change its name to Gosarville, in honor of anti-immigrant to the point of pretending to be physically violent Arizona congressman Paul Gosar. “For years, people – mostly…
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