Posts Tagged ‘Biden 2020’
Sarasota man attempts to change vote after learning presidential race isn’t an actual race
“I thought for sure Biden would win! I mean look at Trump, he’s got that weird posture all bent-over-like when he walks, like a velociraptor with a spine disease— I don’t think he’d be much good at running. “
Read MoreDunedin man wants this election crap over already
George Bascoat of Dunedin is sick and tired of hearing about the 2020 election and wants it finished. “What’s with this crap?”, he asked rhetorically. “The polls closed at 8 and it’s almost midnight and we still don’t know who won. Come on. This is a bunch of crap.” I told him that counting ballots…
Read MoreChannel 8 election coverage is just two guys beating the shit out of each other
Tampa Bay’s local NBC television affiliate WFLA (News Channel 8) has devoted their election coverage to a couple of men in suits fighting each other. “We feel that this is the best and most accurate depiction of this year’s election”, says news programming director Sylvia Wyngooop. “Viewers can tune in at any time tonight and…
Read MoreBiden and Trump reach historic agreement
In a historically unprecedented move, as well as an uncharacteristic display of cooperation in this highly contentious election campaign, the two presidential candidates, Republican incumbent Donald Trump and Democrat challenger Joe Biden, have worked out a mutually beneficial deal mere hours before the polls close nationwide. At an accidental breakfast meeting at the Waffle House…
Read MoreTampa woman votes, announces, “That should do it”
Christine Valzer of Tampa, who has never participated in an election prior to this year, voted early this morning and immediately proclaimed an end to all divisive social and economic issues. “Yep, that should do it”, she said as she left the West Tampa branch of the public library, and informed everyone waiting in line,…
Read MoreTrump Declares Victory in Florida, Nation
It‘s Election Day, November 3 2020, and it’s the culmination of one of the most important elections in American History. The race features incumbent President Donald Trump vs. the Democratic nominee for President Joe Biden in a tight contest for the White House. A record number of Americans have already voted, with millions more planning…
Read MoreEarly voter suddenly remembers she’s undecided
Carol Wish-Washer of Temple Terrace was very pleased with herself for being one of many people to take advantage of the opportunity to cast her vote in this year’s election, until she realized that she hasn’t determined who she wants to be the President of the United States yet. “My God. What have I done?!?”,…
Read MoreFinal Presidential Debate Will Happen Tonight
Here’s what to look for, or avoid, depending on your level of tolerance for what happens in these things…
Read MoreHurricane Laura: New Entrant to 2020 Presidential Election, Running in Hurricane Party
In an unprecedented move, the Category Four hurricane working its way up the Gulf of Mexico, Hurricane Laura, has filed the necessary paperwork to be registered as a third-party candidate for the 2020 U.S. presidential election. Due to beginning her whirlwind tour in the U.S. territory of Puerto Rico, Hurricane Laura is a natural born…
Read More