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Sacred Geometry just a bunch of gay numbers

Sacred Geometry

I went to check out all that sacred geometry bullsh*t that everybody is always talking about and it was just a bunch of stupid numbers. Who cares? So everything in life can be broken down mathematically and that’s where binary comes from, and all matter is just tiny particles floating around and colliding and this…

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Will AI replace or enhance imagination?

AI

Everyone’s pussy’s have been squirting over the new AI art programs. “Are computers going to replace us? Will they take our jobs? Are they more artistic and creative than humans are?” Yes and no. They’re creating based off of what humans have already made. They can only work with what we give them. Like science.…

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“Open corruption” initiative takes effect in government

Corruption

A new initiative amongst the entire government encouraging its employees to be “open and honest about corruption” has officially gone underway. “All politicians on every level are now required to be honest about the dishonest things they do in penalty of being fired.” Said Debrah Demoykins, speaker of the Government Regulations Organization, a group I…

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Scientists predict by 2030 all news will be fake

NewNews

Based off current trends, scientists have made a prediction that by the year 2030, all news will be considered fake in one way or another. “Fake in the sense that, it will revolve around some trivial topic like a celebrity or a food recipe and not actually be relevant to society.” Said Dennis Bird, lead…

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Guy forgets headline, publishes article anyway

Lost Headline

I also forgot the article too. My boss is going to have his way with me when he sees this. But screw it, I don’t care anymore. What’s he going to do, fire me? He has nobody else! Literally! I look up and down my hallway and every office has cleared out! It’s me, the…

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Scientist proves that the universe is effectively meaningless

Meaningless

Professor Brett Powers, an astrophysicist currently teaching at Brown University has published a series of findings which have virtually rendered the universe meaningless, and humanity as, “inconsequential.” The papers follow various people’s daily lives and conduct surveys of their moods and how actions affect their realities and the world around them. After a 3-year study…

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Babies #MeToo politicians who kissed them

Baby Me Too

A group of babies led by one child prodigy who is able to speak and communicate with other babies despite being only 3 months old, have begun cancelling the politicians who have kissed them against their will at campaign rallies. “Just because our parents have held us out towards the politicians does not imply consent.”…

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Temple Terrace youth promotes demonstrably false theory about source of fudge production to younger sibling

Boys being boys

Cayden Kizzler, a 7-year-old in Temple Terrace is the unfortunate victim of a malicious misinformation campaign by his 14-year-old brother Chet. Temple Terrace public health authorities were quick to respond, issuing the following statement: “Around the corner, aka your butthole, is NOT, in fact, where fudge is made. DO NOT under any condition eat ANY…

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