Posts Tagged ‘Rick Scott’
Gronk’s ribs on Rick Scott’s Thanksgiving menu
Florida Senator Rick Scott has announced that the primary entrée for his annual Thanksgiving dinner celebration will be barbecued spare ribs from Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Rob Gronkowski. “Nummy nummy”, slobbered Scott. Gronkowski suffered multiple fractured ribs, along with a punctured lung, in the Bucs 34-24 loss to the Los Angeles Rams on September…
Read MoreRick Scott wants you to know that he is somewhat pro-poor people in certain situations that benefit him
Florida Senator Rick Scott, who opposes raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour, against the stated desires of 60% of his constituents, and is also against repealing the Trump tax cuts that will add $2 trillion to the nation’s deficit, says he empathizes with poor people, like his own mother who he says “struggled…
Read MoreRick Scott reunites with band mates
KISS fans who saw the band’s recent performance at the MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre a couple of weeks ago were treated to a rare occurrence; original founding member Florida Senator Rick Scott joined the band for a few numbers for the first time since the 1970’s. “It was a big surprise to see Rick here…
Read MoreDeSantis plans to travel back in time to prevent vaccinations
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is in Tampa today to attempt going back in time to prevent the invention and implementation of vaccines for polio, measles, smallpox and other conditions that have been virtually eradicated. “I don’t know what it was like back then because obviously I don’t study or learn from history, recent or otherwise.…
Read MoreRick Scott to undertake unmanned space flight mission
In an effort to find out “just what the heck is going on up there”, Senator Rick Scott has announced that he will be launching himself into outer space. “Elon Musk is trying to get into space. So is Jeff Bezos. Why? What do they think is up there and how would it benefit them?…
Read MoreRick Scott presents himself with award
Last night in a ceremony in Tampa, US Senator and former Florida Governor Rick Scott presented an achievement award to himself. “I’ve been travelling around a lot, handing out various awards to deserving recipients, and it suddenly occurred to me the other day, you know who really deserves an award?”, he said. “Me.” A gathering…
Read MoreRick Scott finally sucks own d***
In a move that’s been anticipated for quite some time, Senator Rick Scott has finally felated himself, publicly in front of the press core during a health and safety meeting. “He stood up and said, ‘you guys are so worried about health and safety, I don’t need medical help, or anything from anyone for that…
Read MoreRick Scott observes National Donut Day
U.S. Senator and former Governor of Florida Rick Scott took time out from his busy daily agenda of pandering to his base by constantly Tweeting his disdain for President Joe Biden to pander to his base about his love for donuts on National Donut Day 2021 earlier today. As his loyal followers ignored the fact…
Read MoreMonument to Florida’s greatest public servants proposed for Tampa
A new monument that will honor some of Florida’s most renowned elected officials has been planned for a mountain in Tampa. Renowned sculptor Stoney Facewall says he will carve larger-than-life facial images of Rick Scott, Ron DeSantis, Matt Gaetz and Marco Rubio into the side of one of Tampa’s mountains, making the sculpture visible for…
Read MoreRick Scott handing out more ‘awards’
Following last week’s spectacularly successful presentation of the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s inaugural “Champion for Freedom” award by Senator Rick Scott to former President Donald Trump, Scott is now handing out more new, fake, made-up achievement tokens in an effort to make people not be mad at him. “Okay, I resent your implications, you lousy…
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