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Rick Scott offers to share personal safe space

In an unprecedented display of bipartisanship, Florida Senator Rick Scott has offered the use of his personal panic room to liberal journalists from the Washington Post.  Scott spent most of yesterday Tweeting about how his new 11 Step Plan to Rescue America was “triggering” his political opponents, as opposed to touting what the plan actually…

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TNF agrees with Rick Scott!

Rick Scott Go Bucs

In a pretty much unprecedented occurrence, Tampa News Force actually agrees wholeheartedly with the sentiment expressed by Florida Senator Rick Scott yesterday on Twitter… We agreed with it because we at Tampa News Force are huge, unabashed, dedicated supporters of our World Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers, just as we are of all Tampa Bay Area…

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Gronk’s ribs on Rick Scott’s Thanksgiving menu

Gronk Ribs

Florida Senator Rick Scott has announced that the primary entrée for his annual Thanksgiving dinner celebration will be barbecued spare ribs from Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Rob Gronkowski. “Nummy nummy”, slobbered Scott. Gronkowski suffered multiple fractured ribs, along with a punctured lung, in the Bucs 34-24 loss to the Los Angeles Rams on September…

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Rick Scott reunites with band mates

KISS fans who saw the band’s recent performance at the MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre a couple of weeks ago were treated to a rare occurrence; original founding member Florida Senator Rick Scott joined the band for a few numbers for the first time since the 1970’s. “It was a big surprise to see Rick here…

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Rick Scott to undertake unmanned space flight mission

Rick Scott in Space

In an effort to find out “just what the heck is going on up there”, Senator Rick Scott has announced that he will be launching himself into outer space. “Elon Musk is trying to get into space. So is Jeff Bezos. Why? What do they think is up there and how would it benefit them?…

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Rick Scott presents himself with award

Rick Scott Award

Last night in a ceremony in Tampa, US Senator and former Florida Governor Rick Scott presented an achievement award to himself. “I’ve been travelling around a lot, handing out various awards to deserving recipients, and it suddenly occurred to me the other day, you know who really deserves an award?”, he said. “Me.” A gathering…

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Rick Scott finally sucks own d***

Flexible Rick

In a move that’s been anticipated for quite some time, Senator Rick Scott has finally felated himself, publicly in front of the press core during a health and safety meeting. “He stood up and said, ‘you guys are so worried about health and safety, I don’t need medical help, or anything from anyone for that…

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Rick Scott will sign your “Delta Farce” DVD for $40

Rick Scott signing

In an effort to stand up to the imaginary trend known as “cancel culture” that is currently panicking many conservatives, Rick Scott announced that he will be autographing DVD copies of the 2007 comedy “Delta Farce”, starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls. “Rick Scott here. Right now, I’m ping to try…

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Rick Scott dismisses Tampa Bay pharmacy scammers as “amateurs”

Rick Scott and his disciples

Five Tampa Bay men have pled guilty in what federal prosecutors are calling the biggest healthcare fraud case in history. Court records show that Larry Everett Smith, Scott Roix, Mihir Taneja, Maikel Bolos and Arun Kapoor submitted $931,356, 936 in bogus prescription bills to giant pharmacies including, CVS Caremark, Optum and others with help from…

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NRSC Selects Rick Scott to Make US Senate More Racist

Rick Scott YouTube

After Republicans lost the US Senate majority, the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) selected Florida Senator and Slender Man impersonator, Rick Scott, as their new Chairman.   “As you may have heard, I have just now taken over as the Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee,” said Scott in a video message he released on…

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