Posts Tagged ‘Trump’
Trump runs out of wishes from genie lamp
“Listen it doesn’t matter, it’s already true. I’m already invincible. And you know what, I could have wished for more wishes— I could have done that whole thing— I don’t need them. I’m already the greatest.”
Read MoreMember of the local media who hates the media, blames the media for Donald Trump’s image problems
“It just isn’t fair that the mainstream media, with their obviously slanted liberal bias has spent the last four years irresponsibly throwing out unsubstantiated lies and inflammatory slanderous rhetoric, trying to make the president look like an evil man”
Read MoreTrump directs armpit farts at critics
On a surprise visit to Tampa this morning for the sake of qualifying this article as “local” or maybe to get some Waffle House hash browns, an obviously annoyed President Donald Trump delivered a message to people criticizing him for calling for an end to counting votes. “You know what? All of a sudden you’re…
Read MoreObese turtle offended by Anderson Cooper’s comments
A turtle who lives in the retention pond at the Grande Oasis at Carrollwood apartment complex off Himes Avenue in Tampa is deeply insulted by remarks offered by CNN’s Anderson Cooper following a press conference from President Donald Trump earlier this evening. “That is the president of the United States,” Cooper said. “That is the…
Read MoreSarasota man attempts to change vote after learning presidential race isn’t an actual race
“I thought for sure Biden would win! I mean look at Trump, he’s got that weird posture all bent-over-like when he walks, like a velociraptor with a spine disease— I don’t think he’d be much good at running. “
Read MoreChannel 8 election coverage is just two guys beating the shit out of each other
Tampa Bay’s local NBC television affiliate WFLA (News Channel 8) has devoted their election coverage to a couple of men in suits fighting each other. “We feel that this is the best and most accurate depiction of this year’s election”, says news programming director Sylvia Wyngooop. “Viewers can tune in at any time tonight and…
Read MoreBiden and Trump reach historic agreement
In a historically unprecedented move, as well as an uncharacteristic display of cooperation in this highly contentious election campaign, the two presidential candidates, Republican incumbent Donald Trump and Democrat challenger Joe Biden, have worked out a mutually beneficial deal mere hours before the polls close nationwide. At an accidental breakfast meeting at the Waffle House…
Read MoreTrump Declares Victory in Florida, Nation
It‘s Election Day, November 3 2020, and it’s the culmination of one of the most important elections in American History. The race features incumbent President Donald Trump vs. the Democratic nominee for President Joe Biden in a tight contest for the White House. A record number of Americans have already voted, with millions more planning…
Read MoreFinal Presidential Debate Will Happen Tonight
Here’s what to look for, or avoid, depending on your level of tolerance for what happens in these things…
Read MorePresident Trump Accidentally Trips on Mushrooms in St. Petersburg
President Trump took a brief lunch break at a pop up gluten free and raw vegan biscuit stand last week, after holding an embarrassing rally in St. Petersburg, Florida. The owner of the stand is Pimento Teaspoon, a Portland transplant, who moved to Florida to find himself after tripping on acid this one time. President…
Read More