Night Life
Tampa man keeps dropping phone on his face
Derek Kingsford of Tampa has developed the annoying nightly habit of lying in bed and dropping his phone on his face. “Yeah, it happens when I’m looking at stuff late at night”, he said. “I get drowsy and it falls out of my hand and lands on my face all the time. It’s really annoying”…
Read MoreSt. Pete man disappointed with Tinder date
Gregg Glizistky of St. Petersburg feels like he’s been deceived by a woman he matched with on the popular dating app, Tinder. “All these profiles are basically the same”, he said. “They say, ‘Hi, I like to go out to eat, enjoy live music, working out, watching sports and leisure activities and dogs and art.…
Read MoreTampa man experiencing birthday dilemma
“I got this party pass offer at a local Tex-Mex restaurant for me and nine friends to celebrate my birthday this month,” he said. “And I don’t know what to do about it.”
Read MoreTampa man can’t shake nagging feeling he’s forgotten something
A sales associate for Boost Mobile in Tampa is positive he’s forgotten something important pertaining to Christmas, but hasn’t been able to figure out what it might be. “It’s driving me crazy”, Joe Banjoe said, sitting alone at Hattrick’s in downtown Tampa. “I just can’t put my finger on what it is.” “I don’t think…
Read MoreJohn Morgan to host celebratory soirée
“My greatest passion, aside from pandering to stoners, is my membership in a secret society whose name I can’t reveal for obvious reasons”
Read MoreJuneteenth tribute attempt misses mark
A group of women identifying themselves as “The Girls From Work” tried to pay tribute to Juneteenth with a karaoke performance at Glubber’s Pub in Clearwater Friday night. By all accounts, the effort fell short. “We go out for karaoke every Friday night after work, as a way of unwinding after a hard week,” says…
Read MoreDouchebags excited to start fights in bars again
As Florida gets closer to phase 3 of fully reopening the state, douchebags have been voicing their excitement to get back in the scene and cause problems amongst people just trying to enjoy their nights. Clive Dustin, head of the Tampa chapter of the Douchebags United national organization said, “We’re so excited to talk shit…
Read MoreNew law to limit Ybor debauchery backfires
A new law that prohibits the sale of alcohol in Ybor past 10pm has backfired, as people are now binge drinking earlier to become blackout drunk before 10pm. The law which was meant to decrease alcohol related health issues and violence instead has had the opposite effect prompting inebriated Ybor-goers to vomit on the sidewalk…
Read MoreGrinding made illegal in night clubs
A bill passed banning grinding in night clubs in Florida, specifically Tampa, citing numerous complaints of “creepiness.” Gyrating on a dance floor is still allowed, as long as there are at least 10 inches between the dancers, and no bodily contact is made for more than 3 seconds at a time, including handshakes and hugs.…
Read MoreFirst Dog Owned Business opens in Tampa
Jazzy was a retired Greyhound dog with no where to go after the dog race ban. “Bark, bark,” said Jazzy between chewing on a fake bone. Jazzy was part of the gifted dog program and she is one of the only canines able to communicate with humans using an Ouija board. “Bark, bark,” she said,…
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