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Tampa News Force

Trivia Guy

Bar trivia host sees himself as some kind of mentor

By Clark Brooks | May 23, 2022

Chet Dinkley of St. Petersburg hosts a weekly trivia night every Tuesday night at McFatso’s Irish Pub in St. Petersburg. “I don’t just host a trivia night at a bar; I’m a Quizmaster”, he said, presenting a business card reading, ‘Chet Dinkley; Quizmaster’. “It’s a position of authority. People come to me to learn and…

Breaking News

House for sale

Couple selling extremely rare real estate plot in Tampa

Doug and Amanda Schbluth of Tampa Heights are selling their home, which happens to be the most unique house in the city: it’s the only…

DeSantis proclaims Buccaneers ‘rightful winner’ over Rams

Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a proclamation Tuesday declaring the Tampa Bay Buccaneers the “rightful winners and actual World Champions” three months after their 30-27 loss…

Wood chipper

Car thief attempts to elude cops by hiding in wood chipper

By Clark Brooks | April 24, 2022

Clayton Plateler of Tampa has been arrested after his attempt to hide from Tampa Police Department officers in a wood chipper failed miserably. Police were called to the Mayflower Motel on North Florida Avenue where Plateler had been spotted breaking car windows and stealing radios. When officers arrived on scene, he tried to escape by…

Sports

Tampa Bay Sports

Fans file lawsuit against Bucs, Lightning, Rays and Rowdies for false advertising

A pair of Tampa Bay sports fans have filed a $6 billion class-action lawsuit against the Buccaneers, Lightning, Rays, Rowdies, Major League Baseball, the National…

Toronto latest Canadian city to not appreciate the humor in losing a postseason series to the Tampa Bay Lightning

The Tampa Bay Lightning defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs 2-1 in Game 7 of their first round series in the 2021-22 NHL playoffs Saturday night…

XFL TV

Apparently The Rock is serious about bringing back the XFL?

By Clark Brooks | May 21, 2022

Tuesday the XFL announced a new, global multi-year agreement with The Walt Disney Company and ESPN, which includes exclusive broadcast rights for all gameday content, tentpole events and more, for its upcoming 2023 season through 2027. Each season, all 43 games (40 regular season games, two playoffs, one championship) will be featured on a combination…

Arts and Entertainment

Replacements

Record store employee not surprised Tucker Carlson doesn’t like The Replacements

Thad Dogbreath, a sales associate at the Microgroove record store in Seminole Heights, is not surprised that conservative tv pundit Tucker Carlson is not a…

Take Mom Out this Mothers Day

Where should I take my mom in Tampa?

Mother’s day is the only day of the year when people pretend to love their moms. Because of this, most places in Tampa will be…

Trivia Guy

Bar trivia host sees himself as some kind of mentor

By Clark Brooks | May 23, 2022

Chet Dinkley of St. Petersburg hosts a weekly trivia night every Tuesday night at McFatso’s Irish Pub in St. Petersburg. “I don’t just host a trivia night at a bar; I’m a Quizmaster”, he said, presenting a business card reading, ‘Chet Dinkley; Quizmaster’. “It’s a position of authority. People come to me to learn and…

Government

Therapy

Mayor Castor attends therapy session with Tampa City Council

Following a recent series of unpleasant confrontations between Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and members of the Tampa City Council, all parties involved have agreed to…

Anita Bryant

DeSantis proposes re-animated corpse of Anita Bryant as replacement for Mickey Mouse

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is proposing a possible compromise in the ongoing strained relationship between his office and The Walt Disney Company. “Maybe there’s room…

Marco

Marco Rubio to become a pedophile so that people will talk about him

By Josh Santos | May 13, 2022

In an effort to become more relevant within his party and generate much needed media attention, Florida Senator Marco Rubio has announced that he is a pedophile. “I love fucking kids,” said Rubio to thunderous applause from the GOP base he so desperately wants to be accepted by.  “Whenever I see a child, I get…

Local and Community

Parking Suicide

Paid parking spots in Ybor cause spike in suicides

“It’s all we had left.” Read the last words of a note left behind by Trina Daniels, a resident of Ybor City. The new pay-to-park…

Abortion Bar

Abortion bar opens in Seminole Heights

A new establishment in South Seminole Heights named “Suckers” has opened, touting its option for woman to receive an abortion while they have a drink…

Boat Parade

Arms dealers celebrate another successful year with boat parade

By Clark Brooks | May 20, 2022

In what has become a new Tampa Bay tradition, some of the world’s billion dollar corporations that manufacture and sell weapons systems to equip the brave men and women who protect our country by serving as troops in the military, as well as troops from any other countries with an established line of credit, held…

Box Truck

Tampa commuter guesses he just lives behind this truck now

By Clark Brooks | May 3, 2022

A Tampa man who has been stuck in traffic behind a rented Penske box truck for three miles is resigned to the fact that he will be stuck in traffic behind this rented Penske box truck forever. Randy Cladner, who is just trying to get to his job at Associated Business Company Inc. in downtown…

Sleep Study

St. Pete man conducts own sleep study

By Clark Brooks | May 2, 2022

Herb Clamstraddler of St. Petersburg has been compiling data from a sleep study he has been conducting on himself for the last six weeks and is now prepared to share his results. “First of all, I would like to express my appreciation to the media and esteemed members of the scientific community for being here…

MCU Myers

Mike Myers seeking MCU franchise character

By Clark Brooks | May 1, 2022

Canadian actor, comedian, director, producer and screenwriter Mike Myers is looking for a Marvel Comics character he can play in a series of Marvel Cinematic Universe films for the next several years. “Out of all the characters created by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and others, there has to be at least one whose super power…

Goth Girl

Goth girl adapts ‘Karen’ hairstyle ironically

By TNF | April 30, 2022

Annthrax Nightshade, a frequent visitor to The Castle in Ybor City has adapted the much-derided ‘Karen’ hairstyle as a form of sardonic social commentary. “I’m used to people prejudging me based on my appearance,” she said. “Here’s another reason to gawk at me, motherfuckers.” The hairstyle features an inverted bob or lob cut, also known…

Therapy

Mayor Castor attends therapy session with Tampa City Council

By Clark Brooks | April 29, 2022

Following a recent series of unpleasant confrontations between Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and members of the Tampa City Council, all parties involved have agreed to seek therapy in order to understand, and hopefully resolve, their differences. “It’s what the city needs and deserves, a leadership with a united front that communicates effectively and resolves internal…

TNF 2022 NFL DRFT PRVW

By Clark Brooks | April 28, 2022

Tonight is the first night of the 2022 NFL Draft and we here at Tampa News Force have been spending the last few weeks poring over all the scouting reports and ranking all the prospects.  The Tampa Bay Buccaneers will have the 27th pick (out of 32) and as Tampa Bay’s most knowledgeable and credible…

Lonely's

New restaurant for singles opening soon in Brandon

By Clark Brooks | April 28, 2022

A new chain of restaurants is opening their first location in Brandon, Florida, because that’s where every chain of restaurants opens new locations for some reason. Lonely’s is a new concept eatery, catering exclusively to people who are alone, whether by choice or not. It will serve a menu with a wide variety of top-quality…

Grandpa

Clearwater man never speaking to his grandpa again

By Clark Brooks | April 27, 2022

Due to frustration he experiences while trying to communicate, Mike Dumbar of Clearwater has declared that he is never going to speak to his grandfather again. “I was trying to teach him about cryptocurrency and he just refuses to listen to me,” said Dumbar. “I told him that cryptocurrencies will eventually replace the dollar and…

Anita Bryant

DeSantis proposes re-animated corpse of Anita Bryant as replacement for Mickey Mouse

By Clark Brooks | April 26, 2022

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is proposing a possible compromise in the ongoing strained relationship between his office and The Walt Disney Company. “Maybe there’s room for a quid pro quo,” he said. “Maybe if they do something, I’ll do something.” What he’s suggesting is that the entertainment conglomerate that operates Walt Disney World, arguably the…

MUV

Largest mobilization of emergency services in Clearwater history responds to small fire

By Clark Brooks | April 25, 2022

A fire at a medical marijuana dispensary in Clearwater last Thursday resulted in an unprecedented urgent response from local emergency service providers. “All units, all units. Be advised, there’s a fire at a weed store on 19. This is it, everybody! The big one! All y’all! This is the one we’ve all dreamed of. Everybody…