Tampa News Force
Mayor Castor Video Game Announced for Playstation 5
As part of a new inclusive gaming agenda by Activision, the gaming studio behind the popular Call of Duty franchise has announced a new video game based on the life of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. “I have been shot at,” said Mayor Castor who previously served as the chief of police for the City of…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Fast food marquee is speechless
The Krystal at 2625 West Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa is reacting to recent events with shocked silence from the hamburger restaurant’s marquee. “I mean, what…
South Tampa woman gets service animal
Bethany Britney of South Tampa is the new recipient of a service animal for day-to-day tasks, thanks to her father, a retired coal miner in…
Mass shooting interrupted by mass shooting
A mass shooting that took place at Wet Willy’s Waterpark on Flankton Avenue in East Tampa was temporarily interrupted, when a second mass shooter, not connected to the first mass shooter, showed up to commit a mass shooting. Arnold Jeffries, who entered at the south entrance and began opening fire towards the lazy river noticed…
Sports
Football experts all somehow get predictions wrong
Somehow, inexplicably, a group of football scientists all got their predictions regarding Monday night’s NFL playoff game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Tampa Bay…
Bucs are “champions” of the NFC South!
Following a 30-24 defeat of the Carolina Panthers today at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have won the NFC South Division…
How to celebrate Tom Brady Retirement Day
Every year since last year, Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and future NFL Hall of Famer Tom Brady retires on February 1st, ending his legendary and unprecedented career for 40 days. Here are some ways you can get in on the fun and celebrate this annual occasion… QUIT YOUR JOB That’s enough of that. Just walk…
Arts and Entertainment
Tampa woman accused of being fun at parties
Following an exchange between young women in Tampa regarding Gasparilla activities, a local life coach is the victim of a slanderous accusation. A group of…
Woke liberal falls asleep at the wheel, kills 400
A self-proclaimed “ultra-woke liberal” man fell asleep while driving his monster truck during a monster truck show and accidentally drove into the stands, running over…
Assparilla butt parade is an instant hit
The inaugural “Assparilla” butt parade made it’s debut this year on Gasparilla, to a fevered reception, drawing praise from all of Tampa. “It’s the best idea the city has had since Busch Gardens opened!” Said Bernard Mopkins, who was in attendance. “It was just a never-ending train of ladies with large butts tossing butt-shaped bead…
Government
DeSantis bans February
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced early this morning that effective immediately the month of February is illegal throughout the state. “The month of January will…
Fugitive who destroyed US currency apprehended in Clearwater
Brad Rimshaw, 42 of Clearwater, a man who committed a federal crime 34 years ago surrendered peacefully to authorities yesterday. “Okay, okay, you got me!…
Agency you’ve probably never heard of that never did anything calls it quits
The Tampa Bay Area Regional Transit Authority (TBARTA), the transit authority that oversees regional transportation needs in Hernando, Hillsborough, Manatee, Pasco and Pinellas counties has voted unanimously to dissolve the organization. “Fuck it,” said TBARTA Chairman Cliff Manuel Jr. “We out.” The agency, started by the state in 2007 but not having received funding from…
Local and Community
St. Pete man glad that grooming is now frowned upon
Rich Glombcroft of St. Petersburg is relieved that most people take a dim view of grooming now days. “I’ve been telling people for years that…
Dunedin bails on the whole ‘Scotland’ thing
Following a 4-1 vote by the Dunedin City Commission last night, the city has decided to discontinue their long association with Scotland. “That’s enough already,”…
Sweet Sixteen Ruined by IPA Release
As 16-year-old Molly Johnson eagerly anticipated her Sweet Sixteen party, she never could have predicted that it would fall on the day that a nearby Tampa Heights brewery would release the highly anticipated Hopfucker Quintuple IPA. “I can’t believe this fucking shit is happening,” Molly said, tears streaming down her face. “My fucking Sweet Sixteen…
Play a character Leonardo Dicaprio, Edward Norton, Daniel Radcliffe, and many more of our most beloved white actors have gotten away with saying the N-word by doing it in character. When white people are playing racist characters in movies it’s ok for them to say the N-word. Write it in a book That book Tom…
A man was spotted placing stickers saying “I DID THAT” with a picture of President Joe Biden on them on cartons of eggs at the Publix grocery store at 2724 W. Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa yesterday. “Hey, get out of here! You can’t do that!” said a grocery bagger at the store. “Why the hell…
A brand-new chain of sports designed to appeal to families, and focusing on women, opened yesterday with their first location in Brandon. “Welcome to Queef O’Brady’s,” said owner and manager Tommy Wiffleballz. “The first sports bar by men for women to watch sports played by men and eat chicken wings served by women.” “This is…
Kevin Sanderson of Tampa has someone among his Friends on Facebook that he doesn’t know and doesn’t remember adding. “A picture of her with a dog popped up on my timeline, and I thought ‘why is Facebook showing me random status updates from strangers?’,” he said. “But I clicked on the profile and it says…
Hillsborough county public schools will now require all students participate in at least 40 hours of drag competitions in order to graduate, according to the Hillsborough County School Board. “To combat bigotry and prejudice, the only way we can effectively break children’s bad habits is to force them to immerse themselves in the diverse culture…
Following Black History Month, 2 more months celebrating black excellence, “Black Herstory Month” and “Back Themstory Month” have been declared to recognize the achievements of black women and black trans people. “There’s only so much time in February to talk of all of black people’s accomplishments, it’s necessary we have more time to celebrate the…
That old saying if you put one hundred monkeys with typewriters in a room and they could write Shakespeare has been taken to a new level after a monkey with a typewriter has accidentally brought Hitler back to life. Researchers at the Lowry Park Zoo were curious would would happen if they gave a monkey…
After the resignation of the most recent Chief of Police for the Tampa Police Department, Mayor Jane Castor has announced that the winner of a recent Look-a-like contest will be awarded the title of Chief of Police for the TPD. “I’m just a good boy,” said Lenna Delanada and a playful baby voice. Delanada is…
5. Is your camera on? Cops hate it when you ask the first question, so before they can say anything to you, ask if their camera is on and recording. When they hear this simple question, they will know that you are a citizen who knows their rights and they will let you go immediately. …
After receiving 65,000 ideas submitted to Tampa International Airport’s contest to name the giant flamingo that is the centerpiece of the 21-foot tall sculpture titled “Home” by artist Matthew Mazzotta, a winner has been chosen; it’s “Phoebe” and people hate it. “We understood when we launched the contest that some people would inevitably be disappointed.…
Russian man wins TNF Comment Contest!